I made it home in time to get the kids ready for halloween!
I managed to snap a few pictures of the ones who we took around. The masks were already off so they could more easily shovel the candy into their mouths. We even took the dog! :)
Thursday, October 31, 2013
:)
Wednesday, October 30, 2013
Tuesday
Yesterday. Tuesday. I was going crazy. I probably still am but that's another story. My brother & his girlfriend left for work just like Monday. I had their place all to myself. The peace and quiet should make me happy & relaxed, right? Nope. Just added to the feeling of being left.
I tried watching tv that might make me laugh. After an hour, I realized the Wii remote they use to control it had no charge left. I couldn't leave because I had no vehicle and there was ice and snow on the ground. So I just sat on the couch and stared at nothing. To say I really wanted to go home would be an understatement. After an hour, I did what any insane person would do when their car breaks down. I called my therapist. She assured me that I would, in fact, make it home.
Then I took three giant swallows of courage (read into that whatever you want ;), put on my sweatshirt & jacket and walked out the door. (Side note: that was all on my own, not therapist recomended)
Yes, it was cold & icy but I had my ipod & my courage to sustain me. Tune in later for the rest of the story. My fingers are tired of this dinky keyboard.
Tuesday, October 29, 2013
Van Pictures
The needed part for the van, a ball joint, didn't come in this morning because of the snow/ice last night! The van is finally off the trailer & almost into the garage. This not having a vehicle & having no control over the situation plus all the unknowns is killing me!!!
Monday, October 28, 2013
Van Update
The needed part for the van had to be ordered. Supposed to be here tomorrow. They're hoping they can just replace the joint and not the whole axel. I'd really like to be home soon but its not looking good.
Expect the Unexpected
:( I'm stuck in Rapid City
:) I'm safely at my brothers
:( It's starting to snow & the weather is supposed to get worse
:) The kids are part way home with my mom
:( My van has a broken ball joint & isn't drivable
:) We only spent 6 hours on the side of the road
:( We spent 6 HOURS on the side of the road
:) My brother has the van loaded on one of the racecar trailers
:( He won't be able to fix it until tonight
:) He thinks he can fix it himself
:( I'm stuck without a vehicle
:) I have coffee & creamer :)
:( I was supposed to be working in Flandreau today
:) I guess I have a free day
:( I'm supposed to be working in Brookings tomorrow at 10am
:) I might have a free day tomorrow too
I did download blogger on my phone this morning so if I don't get too frustrated with the tiny keyboard & my stupid smart phone, there will probably be more updates coming :)
Thursday, October 24, 2013
BHS Football
TOUCHDOWN GERALD MAXWELL!!!!!!!!
142 YARDS FOR MAXWELL IN THE FIRST HALF!
Later in the game..........2 POINT COVERSION MAXWELL!!!!!!!!!
Have I mentioned lately that I love watching Brittney's boyfriend play football ;)
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142 YARDS FOR MAXWELL IN THE FIRST HALF!
Later in the game..........2 POINT COVERSION MAXWELL!!!!!!!!!
Have I mentioned lately that I love watching Brittney's boyfriend play football ;)
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Dentist
Hi ho, hi ho. It's off to the dentist we go! The kids all go to Children's Dental Center in Sioux Falls. The three girls have their appointment at 10am and the three boys have their appointment at 12:40pm so it's an all day trip. There's been a slight change to the plan since Brittney decided she can't go today. If she's not in school today, she can't practice after school with her cheer team. If she doesn't practice today, the last practice before they leave for the state meet tomorrow, then she isn't allowed to compete. So I cancelled her dentist appointment and rescheduled it. Since we then had an extra seat in the van, my wonderful mom rode along with us!
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I didn't get this posted before I ran out the door this morning. I was meeting with Kristen from the National Children's study this morning before 8am at our house and then I ran out the door with the kids to make it to the dentist on time.
The dentist trip went surprisingly well and none of the five kids I took today have any cavities or teeth issues :)
I can barely remember the trip to the dentist with five kids a few months after the boys came to live with us. Brittney was 8, Riley was 5, Taylor was 4, Zeke was 4 and Anthony was 2. Zeke had just learned to use a walker, was still in diapers and could hardly talk. Anthony was chaos, touching everything and everyone. Riley was used to acting any way he wanted to. They were all yelling, jumping on chairs, wanting my attention, throwing toys and books and just generally disturbing the peace. Taylor just jumped right into the throws of the chaos and Brittney was just embarrassed. I hadn't had the boys long enough to be able to connect with them verbally. I could ask them not to jump on chairs or settle down until I was blue in the face but they wouldn't really listen to anything I said. As soon as I would try to deal with one child, there would be an issue with another child or two or three. I barely remember it, other than it was awful, but I'm pretty sure I had little David with me that day too. I think he was almost one year old then.
I remember thinking how everyone was looking at us, seeing my kids bad behavior and thinking that a better parent wouldn't have kids that behaved that way. I wanted a shirt that said, "It's not my fault. I just got them." I can honestly say that I'm mostly past what other people think and can concentrate on what my children need. If I would've been smarter back then, I would've realized that it was setting my kids (and myself) up for failure to try to take them all to the dentist on the same day. They had no idea what was expected of them, they hadn't had any practice 'behaving' in public and they were extremely stressed out and disregulated just by being in a new strange new environment. I later learned (not soon enough) that I needed to take each child individually into new situations and gently teach them and help them so they weren't so stressed. Or we just stayed home. That applied to almost everything, including shopping, haircuts, eating in a restaurant, doctor visits, dental checkups, etc. It was a scheduling nightmare but after quite a few years, it's paid off! I can now take five kids to the dentist and we even went out to eat in between appointments :)
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I didn't get this posted before I ran out the door this morning. I was meeting with Kristen from the National Children's study this morning before 8am at our house and then I ran out the door with the kids to make it to the dentist on time.
The dentist trip went surprisingly well and none of the five kids I took today have any cavities or teeth issues :)
I can barely remember the trip to the dentist with five kids a few months after the boys came to live with us. Brittney was 8, Riley was 5, Taylor was 4, Zeke was 4 and Anthony was 2. Zeke had just learned to use a walker, was still in diapers and could hardly talk. Anthony was chaos, touching everything and everyone. Riley was used to acting any way he wanted to. They were all yelling, jumping on chairs, wanting my attention, throwing toys and books and just generally disturbing the peace. Taylor just jumped right into the throws of the chaos and Brittney was just embarrassed. I hadn't had the boys long enough to be able to connect with them verbally. I could ask them not to jump on chairs or settle down until I was blue in the face but they wouldn't really listen to anything I said. As soon as I would try to deal with one child, there would be an issue with another child or two or three. I barely remember it, other than it was awful, but I'm pretty sure I had little David with me that day too. I think he was almost one year old then.
I remember thinking how everyone was looking at us, seeing my kids bad behavior and thinking that a better parent wouldn't have kids that behaved that way. I wanted a shirt that said, "It's not my fault. I just got them." I can honestly say that I'm mostly past what other people think and can concentrate on what my children need. If I would've been smarter back then, I would've realized that it was setting my kids (and myself) up for failure to try to take them all to the dentist on the same day. They had no idea what was expected of them, they hadn't had any practice 'behaving' in public and they were extremely stressed out and disregulated just by being in a new strange new environment. I later learned (not soon enough) that I needed to take each child individually into new situations and gently teach them and help them so they weren't so stressed. Or we just stayed home. That applied to almost everything, including shopping, haircuts, eating in a restaurant, doctor visits, dental checkups, etc. It was a scheduling nightmare but after quite a few years, it's paid off! I can now take five kids to the dentist and we even went out to eat in between appointments :)
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Wednesday, October 23, 2013
Drive Home From Work
When I got back to the farm tonight, I sat in the truck for a few minutes. Dawnna and Janet came out of the shed to check on me because I was taking so long. As soon as I noticed them poking their heads out the big sliding doors, I quickly jumped out of the truck. I knew I'd have a hard time hiding my emotions so I tried to keep my head down. But right away, Dawnna asked if I was ok. I said no but I would be fine and it wasn't a big deal. At the same time, they both asked me what had happened. I repeated that it's not a big deal and I'll be fine. But like the good people they are, they kept pushing the issue. They asked if it was something with my kids. No. Then they asked if it was something with my husband. No. I told them it was stupid and they would be disappointed in the story but they wanted to hear it anyway.
This is what I told them: Tonight while I was driving the truck and trailer down the highway towards the farm after working all day, suddenly I realized that I wouldn't be seeing Dawnna anymore after Friday. I almost started to cry. And I never cry. At least I used to never cry.
As soon as I told her, Dawnna just grabbed me in a big hug. Janet piped up, "She doesn't like hugs!" but Dawnna just insisted, "She needs one anyway!" and kept hugging me. Then I almost started crying again. She said it means that I'm attached to her.
I'm not sure what bothered me more, the fact that I was starting to cry or the fact that I going to miss Dawnna or the fact that I had grown close enough to her to actually miss her. Anyway, as glad as I am for the hard work of the season to be almost over, I admit that I'm going to miss Dawnna a lot!
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This is what I told them: Tonight while I was driving the truck and trailer down the highway towards the farm after working all day, suddenly I realized that I wouldn't be seeing Dawnna anymore after Friday. I almost started to cry. And I never cry. At least I used to never cry.
As soon as I told her, Dawnna just grabbed me in a big hug. Janet piped up, "She doesn't like hugs!" but Dawnna just insisted, "She needs one anyway!" and kept hugging me. Then I almost started crying again. She said it means that I'm attached to her.
I'm not sure what bothered me more, the fact that I was starting to cry or the fact that I going to miss Dawnna or the fact that I had grown close enough to her to actually miss her. Anyway, as glad as I am for the hard work of the season to be almost over, I admit that I'm going to miss Dawnna a lot!
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Cheer Bow
Because I worked all day and the weather was cold and yucky and I'm really tired, Brittney thought it would be a great idea to make a fun edible bow for her cheer coach. It's not quite done yet but here's a picture of the mostly completed bow.
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This is what the bow looks like in her hair. The cheer girls wear them for competition and since they have the State Meet in Rapid City on Saturday, I gave in and made the darn dessert :)
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Tuesday, October 22, 2013
All Hell Broke Loose.........Again
I was thanking God for all the kids' teachers this year. We're having an outstanding start to the school year, partly because I'm home more, partly because the kids are maturing and mainly because there are wonderful adults who are instrumental in helping our kids develop their full potential. I not only survived conferences this year, but I came away with a sense of purpose and peace. Yes, the kids still have improvements to make but I feel like we're on the right track and the teachers are on that track with us.
The last conference was at 6pm tonight. Steve made it home just in time to jump in the van with me and drive over to Anthony's school. I had already fed the kids and left them home with Brittney and Gerald. Everyone had instructions for the evening. At the school, Steve and I met with Anthony's teacher and then chatted with Brit's cheer coach and quite a few other teachers and parents. By the time we left, we were in such a great mood that we decided to head to Qdoba's to grab something to eat. Steve wanted to stay there and eat but my mom-sense told me that we had already been gone over an hour so we probably needed to get back home. It was a good thing we did because from the moment we walked back in the door, we could tell that all hell had broken loose. We were home by 7:30pm. It was a mere hour and a half since we had left the house.
As we walked in, Brittney was screaming, Taylor was screaming, Anthony was sobbing, the dog was barking. I wasn't even sure where any of the other kids were. It took us just moments to realize that there had been lots of physical violence while we were gone. The first step was to get everyone separated and stop the escalation. It wasn't fun. I should be ecstatic that it's only taken us an hour to calm everyone down.
This is what happens when I get too cocky about how well everything is going. It reminds me that even though I think I should be able to leave two 15 year olds, three 11 year olds, an 8 year old and an almost 4 year old for an hour, I can't. I need to always leave an adult home and always take at least some of the kids. Reason #528 that Steve and I have very little time together.
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The last conference was at 6pm tonight. Steve made it home just in time to jump in the van with me and drive over to Anthony's school. I had already fed the kids and left them home with Brittney and Gerald. Everyone had instructions for the evening. At the school, Steve and I met with Anthony's teacher and then chatted with Brit's cheer coach and quite a few other teachers and parents. By the time we left, we were in such a great mood that we decided to head to Qdoba's to grab something to eat. Steve wanted to stay there and eat but my mom-sense told me that we had already been gone over an hour so we probably needed to get back home. It was a good thing we did because from the moment we walked back in the door, we could tell that all hell had broken loose. We were home by 7:30pm. It was a mere hour and a half since we had left the house.
As we walked in, Brittney was screaming, Taylor was screaming, Anthony was sobbing, the dog was barking. I wasn't even sure where any of the other kids were. It took us just moments to realize that there had been lots of physical violence while we were gone. The first step was to get everyone separated and stop the escalation. It wasn't fun. I should be ecstatic that it's only taken us an hour to calm everyone down.
This is what happens when I get too cocky about how well everything is going. It reminds me that even though I think I should be able to leave two 15 year olds, three 11 year olds, an 8 year old and an almost 4 year old for an hour, I can't. I need to always leave an adult home and always take at least some of the kids. Reason #528 that Steve and I have very little time together.
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MINE
Someone forgot to tell Steve's bank that Tuesday mornings are MINE!!! He's scheduled to work this Saturday morning so he gets some extra time off during the week. When I looked at his work calendar last night, I noticed that he doesn't have to go in to work until 1pm today. I like him and all but I was really looking forward to MY Tuesday morning by myself. I guess I'll get some alone time when I'm driving back and forth to Sioux Falls again today.
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Monday, October 21, 2013
Bio Stuff
On Sunday evening, Sophia's bio mom, Rachel, and her husband came over. I understand the bio connection better than most so we let them come over a lot. Sophia doesn't really understand and thinks of her more like a fun aunt or something. Their timing isn't always good but otherwise it's just like having another couple of kids in the house. They mostly just want my attention..
***I couldn't concentrate on writing this because I waited too long and now all the kids are awake and fighting in the kitchen. I should be a good parent and go in there and help them but instead I put on my sound-blocking headphones and plugged in to my iTunes on the computer. I'm currently jamming out to "Summer of '69". Next up is Miami Sound Machine. I already feel my stress level going down. My kids will either kill each other or live through the fighting......but either way.......I can't hear a thing from the kitchen ;)
Anyway, after Rachel and Ben left, four of Sophia's bio aunts and a cousin came over. Again, timing was not so great. We had four kids in bed and Sophia was on her way there. And they tend to be particularly loud. Although they are a lot of fun. It's kind of like our own version of a combo of Honey BooBoo meets Duck Dynasty. You get the picture. They came around 8:30pm and left around 10:30pm.
Then today at 7am, Sophia's bio mom Rachel is being induced. Their baby should be born sometime today. I need to get Zeke to his ortho appointment in Sioux Falls this morning (Sarah, it's not at OI, it's at Sanford Children's Hospital & Rehab. Would have been fun to run into you though!) As soon as we get back to Brookings, I'll get him back to school and then go up to the hospital to check on Rachel. Understandably, I have very mixed feelings about this new baby.
***I couldn't concentrate on writing this because I waited too long and now all the kids are awake and fighting in the kitchen. I should be a good parent and go in there and help them but instead I put on my sound-blocking headphones and plugged in to my iTunes on the computer. I'm currently jamming out to "Summer of '69". Next up is Miami Sound Machine. I already feel my stress level going down. My kids will either kill each other or live through the fighting......but either way.......I can't hear a thing from the kitchen ;)
Anyway, after Rachel and Ben left, four of Sophia's bio aunts and a cousin came over. Again, timing was not so great. We had four kids in bed and Sophia was on her way there. And they tend to be particularly loud. Although they are a lot of fun. It's kind of like our own version of a combo of Honey BooBoo meets Duck Dynasty. You get the picture. They came around 8:30pm and left around 10:30pm.
Then today at 7am, Sophia's bio mom Rachel is being induced. Their baby should be born sometime today. I need to get Zeke to his ortho appointment in Sioux Falls this morning (Sarah, it's not at OI, it's at Sanford Children's Hospital & Rehab. Would have been fun to run into you though!) As soon as we get back to Brookings, I'll get him back to school and then go up to the hospital to check on Rachel. Understandably, I have very mixed feelings about this new baby.
Sunday, October 20, 2013
Even though the weather was bleak today, it was still a good day. The emotional mess in our family from Friday is mostly resolved. (Tay started it, Brit took it over the top and Steve compounded the issue. Mom batted clean-up :)
Today Steve worked at the Swiftel Center for a bridal show so I took the kids to church. I sent most of the kids to class and then headed to the kitchen. Rebecca, Lynda and I fixed scalloped potatoes and ham, creamed corn, strawberry salad and bread for the church college kids today. Rebecca does all the planning and Lynda and I just show up and help. It's a bit of work to get everything ready for 100 kids but it's worth it. Not only are they very appreciative of the home-cooked meal, but I get to spend time in the kitchen with some of my favorite gals! I'll let you in on a story if you promise not to tell anyone ;) A few years ago while we were cooking 10 turkeys and mashed potatoes with all the fixings, we had an incident with a turkey. We dropped it completely through the cooking bag onto the floor! Then a few minutes after that, Rebecca had a mashed potatoes incident. Let's just say that we were cleaning mashed potatoes off the ceiling and cupboards for quite a while after that. I'm telling you, for a good time, join us once a month in the church kitchen!
I usually try to have at least some of my kids help but today I used all of them, plus Rebecca's kids and Lynda's kids. Our kids are good about helping and I love teaching them to serve others without payment or recognition. Plus, a little hard work never hurt anyone.
Bonus: The college kids only went through two and a half roasters of the scalloped potatoes and ham so I came home with a roaster half full for supper, plus some salad, corn and bread. Then our friend came to our house with a big pan of fresh, warm caramel apple crisp. She made one for the dinner at church and then she went home and made us our own!!! Yummmm!!!!!! Thanks Joan!!!
Double Bonus: We were so quick cutting up the potatoes and ham and getting everything ready that I was able to sneak away for coffee at Chocolatte during the second church service while everything was cooking.
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I'd better get off the computer and get my salad made for Brittney's cheer team supper tonight. She wants me to go with her and I absolutely don't want to. I don't want to socialize with other cheer moms while the girls eat and do their bonding thing. But I might just suck it up and do the good mom thing and go anyway. It's a lot easier to be a good mom when I know I have my own time on Tuesday mornings.
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Today Steve worked at the Swiftel Center for a bridal show so I took the kids to church. I sent most of the kids to class and then headed to the kitchen. Rebecca, Lynda and I fixed scalloped potatoes and ham, creamed corn, strawberry salad and bread for the church college kids today. Rebecca does all the planning and Lynda and I just show up and help. It's a bit of work to get everything ready for 100 kids but it's worth it. Not only are they very appreciative of the home-cooked meal, but I get to spend time in the kitchen with some of my favorite gals! I'll let you in on a story if you promise not to tell anyone ;) A few years ago while we were cooking 10 turkeys and mashed potatoes with all the fixings, we had an incident with a turkey. We dropped it completely through the cooking bag onto the floor! Then a few minutes after that, Rebecca had a mashed potatoes incident. Let's just say that we were cleaning mashed potatoes off the ceiling and cupboards for quite a while after that. I'm telling you, for a good time, join us once a month in the church kitchen!
I usually try to have at least some of my kids help but today I used all of them, plus Rebecca's kids and Lynda's kids. Our kids are good about helping and I love teaching them to serve others without payment or recognition. Plus, a little hard work never hurt anyone.
Bonus: The college kids only went through two and a half roasters of the scalloped potatoes and ham so I came home with a roaster half full for supper, plus some salad, corn and bread. Then our friend came to our house with a big pan of fresh, warm caramel apple crisp. She made one for the dinner at church and then she went home and made us our own!!! Yummmm!!!!!! Thanks Joan!!!
Double Bonus: We were so quick cutting up the potatoes and ham and getting everything ready that I was able to sneak away for coffee at Chocolatte during the second church service while everything was cooking.
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I'd better get off the computer and get my salad made for Brittney's cheer team supper tonight. She wants me to go with her and I absolutely don't want to. I don't want to socialize with other cheer moms while the girls eat and do their bonding thing. But I might just suck it up and do the good mom thing and go anyway. It's a lot easier to be a good mom when I know I have my own time on Tuesday mornings.
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Friday, October 18, 2013
Conferences :(
I may or may not post more about our little trip later but right now it's definitely back to real life. Last night we sat outside freezing for two hours to watch Riley play his last football game of the season. At the same time, Brittney and her cheer team were competing in Yankton. One of her bases dropped her so she didn't have a very good night. For those of you who are non-cheer, that basically means that Brittney was way up in the air with four people holding her leg and someone didn't do it quite right so Brit fell. Thankfully, she doesn't seem to have seriously injured anything.
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School conferences are next week. When Brittney was in grade school, I used to love going to school conferences. As much as we try to tell ourselves that it doesn't matter what other people think, it's still an ego boost when people tell you good things about your child. "She gets along with the other kids. She is so smart. She works hard. She's always willing to help. etc, etc. ". You get the idea.
Along come three traumatized boys, a little baby and Taylor thrown in the mix. I now have a lot more conferences to attend and instead of the positive feedback we were getting before, the conferences now sound more like this: "He needs to pay more attention in class. He distracts others. He can't keep his hands to himself. He takes things that don't belong to him. He's definitely not working up to his potential. He lies to me. He doesn't follow directions. He's not turning his work in on time." etc, etc. To anticipate getting hit with conference after conference is a bit daunting.
Knowing all that, it took me a while to figure out why I was so frustrated when I found out that our little preschooler, Sophia, wasn't having a conference. I should have been excited to have one less thing on our busy schedule but it really bothered me. Her school has decided to do their own version of a "conference". Instead of meeting with our child's teacher at a specific time, we are supposed to schedule a time to go into the class with three to four other families. Our child then takes us around their classroom and shows us what they can do. While I think that's a great idea for an open house or family night, that's not a conference to me. A conference is a discussion between the parents and the teachers about what's positive and what needs to be improved. It's a communication tool that you don't usually get during the chaos of drop off and pick up because there are so many people and so much going on during those times.
But the more I thought about it, the more I realized that what really bothered me was that I was looking forward to this conference as the one and only really positive conference experience this fall.
Sophia isn't perfect, but she is very typical of a child her age. When she was screened as an infant, she was developmentally behind in pretty much everything and qualified for almost everything. When they re-tested her at age three, she was in the 90-100% for everything. I feel like we've been able to take the time with her that we didn't have with some of the others. Plus, we were able to start earlier, since she was placed with us at 7 months. I was anticipating ONE mostly positive conference experience. But since that's not going to happen, life must go on.........
So next Monday morning I'll be taking Zeke to his orthopedic team in Sioux Falls for an evaluation. Then Monday afternoon we'll have piano lessons and in the evening we'll have Riley's conference, Taylor's conference and then Zeke's conference. I'll have a breather until Tuesday evening when we have Anthony's conference. Thursday it'll be time for me to get all six kids to the dentist in Sioux Falls. Anyone want to come with? Just me and six crazy kids ;)
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School conferences are next week. When Brittney was in grade school, I used to love going to school conferences. As much as we try to tell ourselves that it doesn't matter what other people think, it's still an ego boost when people tell you good things about your child. "She gets along with the other kids. She is so smart. She works hard. She's always willing to help. etc, etc. ". You get the idea.
Along come three traumatized boys, a little baby and Taylor thrown in the mix. I now have a lot more conferences to attend and instead of the positive feedback we were getting before, the conferences now sound more like this: "He needs to pay more attention in class. He distracts others. He can't keep his hands to himself. He takes things that don't belong to him. He's definitely not working up to his potential. He lies to me. He doesn't follow directions. He's not turning his work in on time." etc, etc. To anticipate getting hit with conference after conference is a bit daunting.
Knowing all that, it took me a while to figure out why I was so frustrated when I found out that our little preschooler, Sophia, wasn't having a conference. I should have been excited to have one less thing on our busy schedule but it really bothered me. Her school has decided to do their own version of a "conference". Instead of meeting with our child's teacher at a specific time, we are supposed to schedule a time to go into the class with three to four other families. Our child then takes us around their classroom and shows us what they can do. While I think that's a great idea for an open house or family night, that's not a conference to me. A conference is a discussion between the parents and the teachers about what's positive and what needs to be improved. It's a communication tool that you don't usually get during the chaos of drop off and pick up because there are so many people and so much going on during those times.
But the more I thought about it, the more I realized that what really bothered me was that I was looking forward to this conference as the one and only really positive conference experience this fall.
Sophia isn't perfect, but she is very typical of a child her age. When she was screened as an infant, she was developmentally behind in pretty much everything and qualified for almost everything. When they re-tested her at age three, she was in the 90-100% for everything. I feel like we've been able to take the time with her that we didn't have with some of the others. Plus, we were able to start earlier, since she was placed with us at 7 months. I was anticipating ONE mostly positive conference experience. But since that's not going to happen, life must go on.........
So next Monday morning I'll be taking Zeke to his orthopedic team in Sioux Falls for an evaluation. Then Monday afternoon we'll have piano lessons and in the evening we'll have Riley's conference, Taylor's conference and then Zeke's conference. I'll have a breather until Tuesday evening when we have Anthony's conference. Thursday it'll be time for me to get all six kids to the dentist in Sioux Falls. Anyone want to come with? Just me and six crazy kids ;)
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Monday, October 14, 2013
We Made It!
We made it! Yesterday we went to church at Celebrate in Sioux Falls. Loved it! Then we went out for lunch together and checked in to our hotel room with a hot tub and river front view! We spent some time there then went shopping (looking) and saw a movie. Took Steve's favorite pizza back to the room and spent some time in the hot tub, which made for a really relaxing day. Today will be some mall time and then a couple's massage followed by a nice dinner. I know I'm using a lot of !!! today but that's the kind of weekend I'm having!
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I'll admit that I'm a bad mom. I haven't missed my kids at all yet. Not even the little one. But don't tell them that!
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I'll admit that I'm a bad mom. I haven't missed my kids at all yet. Not even the little one. But don't tell them that!
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Sunday, October 13, 2013
Mini Vacation
This is the first day of our mini-vacation! Once we get the kids dropped off this morning, we're free! This is also the first time ever that I haven't done any massive planning in anticipation of a trip. I'm usually up to my neck in laundry, suitcases, schedules, etc. Part of it is my OCD but part of it is also because most of my kids don't function well with the unknown. it's no small feat to get our household prepared.
But this trip is different. I'm not taking any kids except the big one (Steve ;) and he's on his own for laundry and packing. It's only three days, after all. Usually I would have all the kids' suitcases ready too but this time I asked the various people watching them to just stop by our house and grab whatever they need. It's amazing how fast I can get stuff together for a short trip when it's just my own stuff. Much less stressful! I didn't even fold and put away Sophia's stuff. It's still in a laundry basket downstairs.
Because this little trip falls over a school holiday (Monday), there is so much less to worry about schedule-wise. Anything that was still happening, I cancelled!
Riley did question where we're going. Steve was vague but I let Riley know we'd be in Sioux Falls. Riley asked if I was running away from home again like I did last month (another great/bad story for another time) and I let him know that it was sort of like that. I told him that it was ok that I was gone before but it wasn't ok that I didn't let anyone know where I was or when I was coming back. That's why this time I was doing it a better way for our whole family.
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I can already tell that I'm feeling more refreshed than I have in a long time. Yesterday we took all the kids and our friends to the Berndt pumpkin patch and I was actually looking forward to it and enjoyed the family time.
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But this trip is different. I'm not taking any kids except the big one (Steve ;) and he's on his own for laundry and packing. It's only three days, after all. Usually I would have all the kids' suitcases ready too but this time I asked the various people watching them to just stop by our house and grab whatever they need. It's amazing how fast I can get stuff together for a short trip when it's just my own stuff. Much less stressful! I didn't even fold and put away Sophia's stuff. It's still in a laundry basket downstairs.
Because this little trip falls over a school holiday (Monday), there is so much less to worry about schedule-wise. Anything that was still happening, I cancelled!
Riley did question where we're going. Steve was vague but I let Riley know we'd be in Sioux Falls. Riley asked if I was running away from home again like I did last month (another great/bad story for another time) and I let him know that it was sort of like that. I told him that it was ok that I was gone before but it wasn't ok that I didn't let anyone know where I was or when I was coming back. That's why this time I was doing it a better way for our whole family.
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I can already tell that I'm feeling more refreshed than I have in a long time. Yesterday we took all the kids and our friends to the Berndt pumpkin patch and I was actually looking forward to it and enjoyed the family time.
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Saturday, October 12, 2013
1. Survived yesterday.
2. Accomplished everything I absolutely needed to.
3. Only had one major parenting fail (Out of everything, I forgot to call The Club to give permission for Riley to walk to the middle school for the dance. But Steve ended up there at 7:15 to pick up Anthony so he was able to grab Riley, drive him through McD's for some cheeseburgers and then get him to the dance at a reasonable time. Bonus: Riley wasn't upset and he got some supper)
4. I enjoyed working with Steve yesterday but I have to admit that it was also kind of fun to watch my 'banker' husband struggle a bit by the end of the day with all the heavy physical work that we do all the time ;)
5. I don't think we've had any major kid meltdowns in the past two weeks!
6. I really miss some of my friends that I connected with over adoptive parenting issues. Since a few of them have moved, I haven't connected with them much. I seem to connect much better in person than I do online.
2. Accomplished everything I absolutely needed to.
3. Only had one major parenting fail (Out of everything, I forgot to call The Club to give permission for Riley to walk to the middle school for the dance. But Steve ended up there at 7:15 to pick up Anthony so he was able to grab Riley, drive him through McD's for some cheeseburgers and then get him to the dance at a reasonable time. Bonus: Riley wasn't upset and he got some supper)
4. I enjoyed working with Steve yesterday but I have to admit that it was also kind of fun to watch my 'banker' husband struggle a bit by the end of the day with all the heavy physical work that we do all the time ;)
5. I don't think we've had any major kid meltdowns in the past two weeks!
6. I really miss some of my friends that I connected with over adoptive parenting issues. Since a few of them have moved, I haven't connected with them much. I seem to connect much better in person than I do online.
Friday, October 11, 2013
Thoughts at 4am That Mean Nothing to Anyone But Me
It's 4am and I'm wide awake. Sophia crawled into my bed at some point and proceeded to flop all over. Between her and Steve, there really wasn't a lot of room left. I finally gave up and went downstairs and laid on the couch. But by then I was really awake and a thousand thoughts were running through my head. Randomly. Eventually I started to get overwhelmed. I had to remind my self of the little HeadStart song. Just stop, take a deep breath and relax. The voice in my head had to remind me that everything will work out. I was able to relax again but obviously not enough to go back to sleep. It's going to make for a very long day today. It will also make for a very rambling blog post.
There were so many random thoughts running through my head and one kept leading to another. For example:
After I get all the kids to school, what time do I need to be ready for work? I need to leave at 9am. Will I have time to run the foster dog to the the humane society to meet some prospective adoptive parents. Yep. I can do it at 8:30 after I get the kids to school. Do I remember the list of things that need to get done at work before we drive the trucks back to Brookings? I think I have it on a text so I can just double check it later. If I drive out to White and I'm driving a truck back into town and Steve meets us at 11am, I'll have one vehicle at the produce stand and one out in the country. How will Brittney get to her meeting at 4pm? I'll have Janet pick me up at 9am. That will leave a vehicle for Brit. After her meeting, Brittney is leaving for Mitchell to watch Gerald play football tonight.Who will watch Sophia after 4pm when Heather goes out of town if Steve will be working with me at Berndts? Taylor. I can pay Taylor to watch Sophia and get Zeke off his bus. But if Taylor is home, what can I do with Riley? He can go to the Boys & Girls Club after school. But if he goes to the club, I'm working, Steve is working with me and Brittney is gone, how will I get him to the middle school dance at 7pm (that I promised that he could go to) when I won't be home until after 8pm. I can call The Club and give him permission to walk from The Club to the school since it's right next door. I can't forget to give him the $3 for admission. Who will pick him up? It doesn't end until 9:30pm so I should be home in plenty of time to get him. Anthony. I completely forgot about Anthony. I'll have him go to The Club too. Not the best option for him but it will work for tonight. Ok. I think that at least gets me through today. But I need to respond to some texts about when I can work at HeadStart in Flandreau and in Brookings. I told them I'd let them know by Thursday and it's already Friday. If I respond right away this morning, that's still almost Thursday, right? I think I'll try to work for Laurie the day her mom has surgery because she's so close to her mom and I know she really wants to be there for her. Even though it's a Tuesday morning. But I think it will be ok if I save Thursday morning that week instead. But I'm going to say no to the next week. I'll get to far behind at home. And then I need to respond to the request for me to work in Flandreau the last week of October. I'm supposed to keep Tuesday mornings free and that's also the same week as the Boarder movie and workshop. Although I think I could work and still be back in Brookings by 2pm which would still give me plenty of time to make it to the later showing. And I still need to decide which workshop I'm going to attend. Ok. That's enough thinking before coffee. It's almost 5am now so that's close enough to morning to justify coffee. And after all of that jumbled mess of thought, I can relax tomorrow knowing that we don't have to run anyone anywhere. I will probably do the apples we picked and can applesauce. We might even take the kids out to Berndt's pumpkin patch and take some friends with us. But there's nothing we have to do tomorrow. And Sunday starts our mini vacation!
I think I need my free Tuesday mornings just to untangle all the thoughts that get jumbled around in my head the rest of the week :)
Oh crap! I just realized that someone will have to pick up the foster dog after the meeting :/
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There were so many random thoughts running through my head and one kept leading to another. For example:
After I get all the kids to school, what time do I need to be ready for work? I need to leave at 9am. Will I have time to run the foster dog to the the humane society to meet some prospective adoptive parents. Yep. I can do it at 8:30 after I get the kids to school. Do I remember the list of things that need to get done at work before we drive the trucks back to Brookings? I think I have it on a text so I can just double check it later. If I drive out to White and I'm driving a truck back into town and Steve meets us at 11am, I'll have one vehicle at the produce stand and one out in the country. How will Brittney get to her meeting at 4pm? I'll have Janet pick me up at 9am. That will leave a vehicle for Brit. After her meeting, Brittney is leaving for Mitchell to watch Gerald play football tonight.Who will watch Sophia after 4pm when Heather goes out of town if Steve will be working with me at Berndts? Taylor. I can pay Taylor to watch Sophia and get Zeke off his bus. But if Taylor is home, what can I do with Riley? He can go to the Boys & Girls Club after school. But if he goes to the club, I'm working, Steve is working with me and Brittney is gone, how will I get him to the middle school dance at 7pm (that I promised that he could go to) when I won't be home until after 8pm. I can call The Club and give him permission to walk from The Club to the school since it's right next door. I can't forget to give him the $3 for admission. Who will pick him up? It doesn't end until 9:30pm so I should be home in plenty of time to get him. Anthony. I completely forgot about Anthony. I'll have him go to The Club too. Not the best option for him but it will work for tonight. Ok. I think that at least gets me through today. But I need to respond to some texts about when I can work at HeadStart in Flandreau and in Brookings. I told them I'd let them know by Thursday and it's already Friday. If I respond right away this morning, that's still almost Thursday, right? I think I'll try to work for Laurie the day her mom has surgery because she's so close to her mom and I know she really wants to be there for her. Even though it's a Tuesday morning. But I think it will be ok if I save Thursday morning that week instead. But I'm going to say no to the next week. I'll get to far behind at home. And then I need to respond to the request for me to work in Flandreau the last week of October. I'm supposed to keep Tuesday mornings free and that's also the same week as the Boarder movie and workshop. Although I think I could work and still be back in Brookings by 2pm which would still give me plenty of time to make it to the later showing. And I still need to decide which workshop I'm going to attend. Ok. That's enough thinking before coffee. It's almost 5am now so that's close enough to morning to justify coffee. And after all of that jumbled mess of thought, I can relax tomorrow knowing that we don't have to run anyone anywhere. I will probably do the apples we picked and can applesauce. We might even take the kids out to Berndt's pumpkin patch and take some friends with us. But there's nothing we have to do tomorrow. And Sunday starts our mini vacation!
I think I need my free Tuesday mornings just to untangle all the thoughts that get jumbled around in my head the rest of the week :)
Oh crap! I just realized that someone will have to pick up the foster dog after the meeting :/
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Thursday, October 10, 2013
What They Don't Understand
Sophia's preschool class was going on a field trip to a pumpkin patch today. She'd been talking excitedly about it for days. We dropped off all the other kids and drove towards the preschool. She chatted happily all the way there.........until we pulled into the school parking lot. Then she started to cry. I coaxed her out of the van and Steve had to carry her into the preschool. Once inside, she continued crying and clung to me like her life depended on it. I could sense the teachers and other parents watching.
A few years ago, I would have been overwhelmed by the feelings of parenting inadequacy. To be honest, I do still feel a little of that. There's nothing like having my kids exhibit their negative behaviors in public around parents of "typical" children.
Adults thoughts, and unfortunately words, go something like this:
Why is that kid crying all the time!?
All kids go through that. It's just a phase.
Just leave her. When my kid cries, I just leave them. They'll be fine.
You spoil her too much.
What they don't understand:
For a typical young child, when the significant people in his/her life go away, the child learned that they will come back.
For 4 out of 6 of my children (and myself), when the significant people in his/her life go away, we learned from a very young age that those people are never seen again.
To say this makes transitions and change difficult is a massive understatement.
What I did:
First of all, I concentrated on Sophia instead of the other parents. Once I was focused on her, I could concentrate on what she needed. I got down to her level and hugged her tightly against me and talked softly to her. She calmed down a little. Then I talked her through exactly what was going to happen today. You are going to go into your classroom to play for a while. Then your teacher will have you and your friends get your coats on. Next, you'll get on the bus and ride to the pumpkin patch to pick pumpkins. When you're done, you'll come back to your classroom. Grandma will pick you up, take you for lunch and then I 'll pick you up at grandma's house. So I'll see you again after lunch. I told her that her teacher would hold her until she was ready to play and I passed her off to her teacher. By the time I picked her up, she could hardly contain her excitement about her field trip!
I just have to keep reminding myself that it's not about what other people think.
It's about helping my children develop into healthy adults.
And maybe learning a little about myself along the way ;)
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A few years ago, I would have been overwhelmed by the feelings of parenting inadequacy. To be honest, I do still feel a little of that. There's nothing like having my kids exhibit their negative behaviors in public around parents of "typical" children.
Adults thoughts, and unfortunately words, go something like this:
Why is that kid crying all the time!?
All kids go through that. It's just a phase.
Just leave her. When my kid cries, I just leave them. They'll be fine.
You spoil her too much.
What they don't understand:
For a typical young child, when the significant people in his/her life go away, the child learned that they will come back.
For 4 out of 6 of my children (and myself), when the significant people in his/her life go away, we learned from a very young age that those people are never seen again.
To say this makes transitions and change difficult is a massive understatement.
What I did:
First of all, I concentrated on Sophia instead of the other parents. Once I was focused on her, I could concentrate on what she needed. I got down to her level and hugged her tightly against me and talked softly to her. She calmed down a little. Then I talked her through exactly what was going to happen today. You are going to go into your classroom to play for a while. Then your teacher will have you and your friends get your coats on. Next, you'll get on the bus and ride to the pumpkin patch to pick pumpkins. When you're done, you'll come back to your classroom. Grandma will pick you up, take you for lunch and then I 'll pick you up at grandma's house. So I'll see you again after lunch. I told her that her teacher would hold her until she was ready to play and I passed her off to her teacher. By the time I picked her up, she could hardly contain her excitement about her field trip!
I just have to keep reminding myself that it's not about what other people think.
It's about helping my children develop into healthy adults.
And maybe learning a little about myself along the way ;)
.
We're Outta Here!
As of yesterday at 5:30pm, Steve is on vacation until next Thursday!!! When most people have a full week off, they take an exciting trip to somewhere exotic or spend time with family. Have I mentioned yet that we're not a normal family?
We decided a month ago that we would, indeed, take a trip but that it would be a very short and inexpensive one. Adults only. We are getting all the kids ready for church on Sunday and then dropping them off at 9am. From there, others will take over. Grandma Connie and Grandpa Larry will take Sophia and Taylor. Grandma Sandy will be responsible for Zeke and Anthony. Riley will be going to a friend's house after church and Gerald will be keeping an eye on Brittney ;)
Steve and I are going by ourselves to a secret undisclosed location until Tuesday afternoon. Ok, so we're just going to Sioux Falls. But we're going together and without any of our kids. Having worked in the hotel industry for a few years, I knew that hotel's will usually offer a deal on a vacant room on a weekday (not Friday or Saturday) because they want to fill the rooms. So I wrangled a deal for one on Sunday and Monday. It's got a river front view, a hot tub and best of all, I was able to get a spectacular price. I've been saving some of my money from the produce stand this fall so we could get away for a bit. Then a friend found out what we were doing and gave me an envelope with $50 so we could go out for supper. She wrote, "thanks for making the summer so much fun!"
We may or may not go to church in Sioux Falls on Sunday morning and then we'll just relax the rest of the time. We haven't made any major plans, or even minor ones for that matter. I'm sure we'll take a walk down by the river, read a book (me), watch sports on tv (steve) and lounge in the hot tub. Everything will be spontaneous. But whatever we decide to do, we'll be doing it together and we'll be uninterrupted.
I was told in no uncertain terms that I need to take some time for myself so that I don't get so overwhelmed with this parenting gig. I want to give 100% and in order to do that, sometimes I need to take a break and get refreshed. I'll be the first to admit, I'm really looking forward this getaway with my best friend!
.
We decided a month ago that we would, indeed, take a trip but that it would be a very short and inexpensive one. Adults only. We are getting all the kids ready for church on Sunday and then dropping them off at 9am. From there, others will take over. Grandma Connie and Grandpa Larry will take Sophia and Taylor. Grandma Sandy will be responsible for Zeke and Anthony. Riley will be going to a friend's house after church and Gerald will be keeping an eye on Brittney ;)
Steve and I are going by ourselves to a secret undisclosed location until Tuesday afternoon. Ok, so we're just going to Sioux Falls. But we're going together and without any of our kids. Having worked in the hotel industry for a few years, I knew that hotel's will usually offer a deal on a vacant room on a weekday (not Friday or Saturday) because they want to fill the rooms. So I wrangled a deal for one on Sunday and Monday. It's got a river front view, a hot tub and best of all, I was able to get a spectacular price. I've been saving some of my money from the produce stand this fall so we could get away for a bit. Then a friend found out what we were doing and gave me an envelope with $50 so we could go out for supper. She wrote, "thanks for making the summer so much fun!"
We may or may not go to church in Sioux Falls on Sunday morning and then we'll just relax the rest of the time. We haven't made any major plans, or even minor ones for that matter. I'm sure we'll take a walk down by the river, read a book (me), watch sports on tv (steve) and lounge in the hot tub. Everything will be spontaneous. But whatever we decide to do, we'll be doing it together and we'll be uninterrupted.
I was told in no uncertain terms that I need to take some time for myself so that I don't get so overwhelmed with this parenting gig. I want to give 100% and in order to do that, sometimes I need to take a break and get refreshed. I'll be the first to admit, I'm really looking forward this getaway with my best friend!
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Tuesday, October 8, 2013
Fake Tattoo Story
I obviously haven't felt much like blogging lately. I could say I've been busy, which is true, but I really just didn't feel like writing. So here's a story:
Just before we were leaving the house one day, I noticed Riley had used red and black permanent markers and given himself a tattoo. I wasn't overly thrilled about the marker but it was homecoming week after all. While most typical kids were marking themselves up with bobcat symbols, I should have realized by now that we're most definitely not a typical family. Even though we may look like it to the outside world. When I took a closer look at Riley's "tattoos" on both of his hands and his bicep, I saw that he had very accurately drawn and colored a Nazi symbol.
Steve's immediate reaction was to get angry and make Riley wash them off, no small feat since it was, after all, permanent marker. I'll admit, I was angry too but I put off my anger temporarily and talked to Riley. I asked him if he knew what the symbol meant. His answer was something along the lines of "powerful military guys". Which is true. And to an eleven year old boy who has very little power over anything in his life, I guess that would be alluring.
I simply told him that there was quite a bit more to the Nazi's than what he realized. I asked him if we could make a deal. I would rent the movie Shindler's List and watch it with him. If, after watching the movie, he still wanted to wear the symbol, I would let him. Until then, he agreed to wash off the symbol and not draw any more.
So Sunday afternoon, Riley and I went to Mr Movies. We came home, got some popcorn and settled in for a three hour movie. I let Taylor and Anthony watch it with us. I know it's rated R and very graphic but it has such a powerful historic message. I did fast forward through the sex scene ;)
All three kids sat glued to the tv through the entire movie. The most powerful moment came for me when it was over when I asked Riley if he still wanted to wear the Nazi symbol. He slowly shook his head, no, then glared over at his brother and said in a voice of steel, "and if you ever tell anyone I had it, you'll be in big trouble!"
I think a lesson has been learned.
.
Just before we were leaving the house one day, I noticed Riley had used red and black permanent markers and given himself a tattoo. I wasn't overly thrilled about the marker but it was homecoming week after all. While most typical kids were marking themselves up with bobcat symbols, I should have realized by now that we're most definitely not a typical family. Even though we may look like it to the outside world. When I took a closer look at Riley's "tattoos" on both of his hands and his bicep, I saw that he had very accurately drawn and colored a Nazi symbol.
Steve's immediate reaction was to get angry and make Riley wash them off, no small feat since it was, after all, permanent marker. I'll admit, I was angry too but I put off my anger temporarily and talked to Riley. I asked him if he knew what the symbol meant. His answer was something along the lines of "powerful military guys". Which is true. And to an eleven year old boy who has very little power over anything in his life, I guess that would be alluring.
I simply told him that there was quite a bit more to the Nazi's than what he realized. I asked him if we could make a deal. I would rent the movie Shindler's List and watch it with him. If, after watching the movie, he still wanted to wear the symbol, I would let him. Until then, he agreed to wash off the symbol and not draw any more.
So Sunday afternoon, Riley and I went to Mr Movies. We came home, got some popcorn and settled in for a three hour movie. I let Taylor and Anthony watch it with us. I know it's rated R and very graphic but it has such a powerful historic message. I did fast forward through the sex scene ;)
All three kids sat glued to the tv through the entire movie. The most powerful moment came for me when it was over when I asked Riley if he still wanted to wear the Nazi symbol. He slowly shook his head, no, then glared over at his brother and said in a voice of steel, "and if you ever tell anyone I had it, you'll be in big trouble!"
I think a lesson has been learned.
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