Trauma of Drop-Off

This morning I dropped Sophia off at daycare because I have to be at work in an hour. There are a lot of times she's a little clingy but eventually warms to the situation. This morning, she was more clingy and whiny then usual. I'm not sure if she was just tired or if it had to do with the time she spent with bio family last night. In any case, she didn't want me to leave. I told her I would stay with her for a while.


When we got there, she pulled me down to her and held on for dear life. (If I would have tried to pry her off at that point, she would have screamed)


I knelt down on the floor to her level and hugged her really tightly. I think she needed to feel that I wasn't going anywhere. After only about three minutes of this, she let go of my body but grabbed on to my fingers and pulled me to the painting table. (If I would have pulled away at this point, she would've just grabbed on to my body again.)


I allowed her to take me to the table and then she finally let go of my hand and sat down to paint, with me standing right behind her. She used apple pieces to paint but wanted to write her name on her paper. Up to this point, she hadn't interacted with the teachers at all. They tried but she wasn't having it. She asked me for a pen and I told her that I didn't know where they were. She would need to ask a teacher. So she did. The first time she tried, the teacher didn't hear her. She tried again and the teacher happily found her a pen. After signing her name, Sophia proudly carried her painting into the other room (without me) and put it on the drying rack. (If I would have snuck out at this point, she would have been in tears when she discovered that I was gone.)


Then she came back and asked me to do a puzzle with her. I told her I would do one piece and then I needed to go. She said, "Ok. Teacher, would you do this puzzle with me?"


The teacher came over to play with her. I asked Sophia for a hug before I left and then she gave me two hugs and a kiss and said, "Bye mom!" I walked out without incident and the whole process only took about 10 minutes.


As I was giving Sophia the final hug, I saw a mom walk in the doorway with her little boy clinging to her legs and crying. Her response was to tell him to be a big boy, pull him off and hand him over to the teacher. Granted, the teacher did an amazing job with him and I don't mean to be judgmental of the mom. I'm sure she was frustrated, probably running late and worried what everyone was thinking of her parenting ability since her child was "acting up".


I'm just relived that I'm past the point of caring what others think of my parenting. Who knows?Maybe this morning, people thought I was spoiling Sophia and I should've just left and let her learn to deal with it. But that doesn't worry me anymore because I know in the end, I did what was best for Sophia. Sure, it took a little extra time, but I've tried to learn to be more flexible these days and give time to what's really important. And those extra ten minutes gave me a confident, happy kid instead of a dis-regulated angry child who didn't feel safe.
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