Later

I'm at another point in life where I have so much to write about and so much bouncing around in my head but I either don't have the time to put words to the thoughts or else when I have a bit of time, I don't feel like writing.


Yesterday, I survived four school conferences. I could say more about that but as I type, I have Steve trying to pull Sophia out from under my desk. She's screaming and he's yelling. It isn't very conducive for writing. I'll try again later. :-/

First Day of School

Pics from 8/28/15 :-)

Taylor Says

Quite a while ago, I decided that our back entryway needed to be redone to make it more useful for our family. We needed hooks. Lots of hooks! And more storage space.

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So I went to work. I created hooks and painted the walls grey instead of white.

Grey hides the dirty handprints the kids tend to get all over the walls

 because they can't seem to keep their hands off of them.

Finally, I created lots of storage spaces. Basically, cubbies for shoes and entryway stuff, a bench, hangers for keys, hangers for lanyards, a box for incoming mail, a spot for the dog leash, etc.

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Taylor was a bit frustrated that other people kept hanging things on her hook. 

This is what I found this morning.

In case you can't read it, it says,

"This is Taylor's hook

if any one uses it besides me

you will die......Thanks......I am not

kidding.....you will die

Love ya'll

Taylor Wilkins"

She even used little hearts to dot her i's.

I Think I'm Back

After a long break from writing, I think I have words again. I have no idea if there is still anyone who will see this but the words are usually just typed to get them out of my head anyway ;-)


We'll start with a general overview. All our kids are back in our house, school has started, fall sports have begun, I'm back at the produce stand for a few months and Steve and I both started new jobs. Steve is working for Bell Brands full time and I am working for the Christian School part time.


The summer has been a whirlwind of activities and emotions, including a family trip. I'm sure I'll eventually post about that because everyone wants to see family vacation pictures, right? If you ask Sophia her favorite part of the trip, she'll tell you that she got to see bacon. FYI: Bacon was the name of the dog that belonged to another tourist at Niagara Falls. It really was the highlight of her trip!


Before I head off on this beautiful Sunday morning, here's a quick Sophia Says:
Sophia was mad that I was going to the store without her. I quickly resorted to bribery and told her that I would bring her back a treat. I was thinking a granola bar, gum, sucker, etc. I immediately knew my five year old had been spending too much time with her high-maintenance teenage sister when she informed me that she wanted "a medium strawberry crème frappe with whipped cream and a little caramel on top."

Today's Project

Last week's project was building a room downstairs for Taylor. This morning's project was Sophia's room. All that's left in there is to paint the trim.

FYI

Just in case you ever need to know, using a chainsaw in the house WILL set off the fire alarms. ;-)

Mom Says

This morning, Taylor came in the office while I was working, plopped down in a chair and quoted from something on her phone, "Be a Fruit Loop in a world full of Cheerios!"


I promptly informed her that I'd rather be a Cheerio in a world of Fruit Loops!

Sophia's Zoo Trip

I went with Sophia and her preschool class on their field trip to the Watertown zoo.

We love that zoo because it's so kid-friendly. I don't have many pictures of animals because 1) I prefer taking and remembering pictures of people and 2) the girls' favorite parts of the zoo were these crazy photo op things. They went nuts over every one we found and we spent twenty minutes at every board taking different pictures of their heads poking out of different holes in different ways. You can thank me later for only posting a few!!!

When I was working at HeadStart a few years ago, I was working with a very wise teacher. During a particularly messy project, I was joking with her about letting the kids make a mess at school but I would never let my kids do it at home because I wouldn't want to have to clean it up. She laughed with me and then made a comment that's stuck with me for years.

She simply said, "It's not about the project. It's all about the process."

That thought came in helpful yet again while I was at the zoo. We had a certain amount of time and a lot of animals to see. There were times that the kids were having fun playing at an area that didn't even involve animals, I would let them play for a while and then found myself thinking that we needed to keep moving to get to the rest of the zoo. Then I would stop and remind myself that it was about the process.......having fun, interacting and learning.........not the end result of making sure they saw the entire zoo.

So we spent lots of time at the photo op boards and playing in a giant nest. At the nest, the girls took turns pretending that they were baby birds and brought food to each other. It was really fun to watch!

The other favorite for the kids was a hole in the dirt. Not kidding. We spent good money to see the animals in the zoo and guess what they loved? Again reminding myself that it's all about the process, when they stopped at the hole, instead of encouraging them to keep walking because we had more animals to see, I stopped too. We examined the hole, talked about it and yes, they even dug in the dirt. The dirt hole kept their attention for at least twenty minutes.

The funny thing is, we did actually get to see all the animals at the zoo.

But instead of the girls remembering a fieldtrip where they were hot and tired and had to be drug around and nagged for the day, they will remember having a blast at the zoo!

 

 

 

The Hole :-)

The Nest :-) 

Tomorrow's Got to be Better!

The past two days:

*Another van door broke at 9:30pm the night before I was to drive for a field trip, meaning I would need to have 4 children & 3 adults climb through the drivers seat.
Thankfully, my dad came to the rescue.

*Riley had a big international project that he let us know the specifics about the day before it was due, including an authentic costume & making a food item for 100 people. My mom commandeered that one.

*I received an email from Anthony's teacher today. It wasn't good. And it shocked me. It takes quite a bit to shock me these days, if that tells you anything.

*Zeke broke his orthotic leg brace at school today.

On a positive note, Riley & Anthony's baseball practices and the baseball parent meeting was canceled tonight because of the rain.

Tomorrow's got to be better, right?

Another Chapter

I wish I could write about the incredible experience we went through on Tuesday. What I thought would be an incredibly traumatic experience was actually incredibly healing. When you have the right information and the right people with the right approach, it makes all the difference in the world.

We had two therapists' visits yesterday. I put in quite a few hours of drive time yesterday back and forth to Sioux Falls. Put that together with all the emotional toll lately and I was exhausted by last night.

Today starts another chapter. Another kid, another therapist. Then add in Riley's band concert and Anthony's baseball. Believe it or not, I've actually cut out a few things for the kids this week just to try to simplify life a little.

We'll get through this. We're just not exactly sure what that looks like yet.

And look! My tree has even more color than last week!

Life is a Series of Hurdles

 Life is a series of hurdles...................and I keep banging my shins!

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Today there are pictures.

Mostly because I'm terrified about today so I don't want to write.

Two of the kids are being interviewed this morning at 9:30am in Sioux Falls.

And by interviewed, I mean interrogated.

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So as I drink my coffee in these early morning hours and try to remain calm,

here are some random pictures from the last few days.

Zeke's Special Olympics Regional Track meet in Brandon.  

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Zeke competed in three events. 

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Afterward, Steve and I took some of the kids to Taco John's for lunch/supper. 

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The tree in our front yard is finally blooming.

I hope it's a sign of positive and beautiful things to come. 

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Neighborhood kids in our backyard. :-) 

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Taylor wanted her picture taken with us before her orchestra concert. 

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The Brookings 6th grade orchestra.

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You can kind of see Taylor behind the cello. 

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I can't wait until today is over.

Then I can get ready to jump the next life hurdle instead of anticipating this one :-(

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Still in the Midst of the Storm

We made it through another day. Some of the normal parts of our day included spending time at the Special Olympics track meet in Brandon. I'll post pictures later. In the evening, Steve planted grass in our front yard so hopefully by the end of the summer we won't just have a big dirt patch anymore.


My dog just came in to tell me good morning. No matter how bad it is, he always makes me feel a little better.


Right now, we have one of our children who isn't living with us. It's probably temporary but we really don't know the outcome yet. Some really bad choices were made by children and we're trying to figure out what to do next. We're trying to focus on what's best for everyone: our children, our family, other children. We're just not sure exactly what that looks like yet. There are others outside of our family involved in figuring that out, including at least three therapists, key people at the school and a police detective. Everyone is safe and we're moving forward, but because of the choices kids' made, some things may ultimately be out of our hands. We really don't know yet.


One of the first things I did immediately following the incident, after calling my friend and then trying to reach our main therapist, was to contact our attorney. In any incident regarding children, I HIGHLY recommend retaining an attorney as the first step, even if you haven't done anything wrong and don't want to spend the money. It was a lesson we learned much to late in our last go-around with social services.


An attorney has a knowledge of the law, they are bound by attorney/client privilege and they are not a mandated reporter. We trust our lawyer completely. Not only did he help us through the last major incident with our kids, he is my cousin.


In the past, we've always tried to look after the best interest of our children but weren't sure exactly what to do or who to contact. This time, even though the incident didn't involve Steve or I, it still involved our kids. So I called our awesome attorney and he drafted a letter stating that the Wilkins children are not to be questioned or contacted without us or our lawyer present. He sent it to the head of social services and the states attorney. I now have a copy of that letter in my possession so that my already traumatized kids CANNOT be re-traumatized by social services like they were in that last go-around involving Anthony.


So rest assured, I've taken the necessary steps to protect my kids this time. This week, the kids will be in Sioux Falls for lots of appointments, as will I. I'm hoping we know something more by next week. No guarantees though. It will, in part, depend on what happens with/in the interviews and sessions this week.


I told you I would I would try to share as much as I could and I will continue to do so.






PS to Val: Definite YES to coffee! Text me. This week's super busy but I'll make time for you!!!


PS to Nan: Thanks for the other day. I think it was necessary for both of us! Sticking with me through the good/bad/ugly. And I hope you know I do the same for you!!!


PS to Jess: You remember the hard, hard stuff and this week especially is gut wrenching for our family. Awful kids' stuff and then suicide in the same time frame. You were in the thick of things before and I just want to thank you for your continued prayers and support!!!

Proud Friend Moment

So proud of my friend Kim today for attaining her dream of qualifying for the Boston Marathon!!!

Life Goes On

 Even in the midst of chaos, life must go on.

Yesterday was another busy day.

Sophia's class went to Medary Acres.

She's in the back row with the blue jacket & pink shirt.

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Then I went with Brittney for an SDSU college tour.

She's only a junior but this is the third college that she's seriously looked at.

I'll admit that this one is my favorite!

She was creeped out by all the random weird bunnies around the offices.

I can't believe I have a kid old enough for this!

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We met with a really great admissions counselor and then went on an individual tour.

We chose to end our time on campus with some SDSU ice cream. 

Totally worth it!!!

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 After SDSU, Brittney and I picked up Sophia from school and drove to Sioux Falls to watch Zeke swim in the Special Olympics regional swimming meet.

I have more pictures of him swimming but I can't get them to post.

The best was when he was already in the pool and another young swimmer was trying to get in also. Zeke helped him and then put his arm around him to encourage him.

Gotta love Special Olympics.

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Zeke was finished before with his swimming by 4pm but had other friends swimming so we left him there with his team and he rode back on the bus.

Brittney volunteered to pay the entrance fee at the zoo for the three of us girls.

It was a beautifully sunny day and we all needed something just for fun.

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Today we're headed to Brandon for the Special Olympics Regional Track Meet. 

Tragedy Strikes Again

Another day, another tragedy. I'm so sorry that the world is such a tough place.


I can't fill you in on the whole story because I don't know it all and it's really not my story to tell. I just hurt so much when others hurt. What I can say is that there was a very nice high school boy who felt that he had few options last night. Something happened, the police followed him and he eventually ended the pursuit by using a gun on himself. He's currently on life support.


I knew of him but didn't know him personally. Brittney knew him because he had a locker near hers. Our young friend Suzanna was his girlfriend. Our friend Ron was his teacher and confidant. They are struggling.


I'm reminded of a short time ago when my friend Eric committed suicide. There are no words.
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Just Another Day

So yesterday, lots of phone calls, lots of meetings set up, school concert skipped by our whole family. The good news is, I was only blindsided once. By a call from a police detective. Wasn't expecting that one. Now I'm off to a school. I hope it's the right thing to do.

What I Have Discovered

I have discovered that if you're open, honest and vulnerable about feeling overwhelmed and needing help, you get reported to social services and nearly a trip to the psych ward. Yikes! So I believe I shall go back to my old ways of carrying the world on my shoulders and not letting anyone know how hard it is. Although the looney bin would probably be more sane and relaxing than my house. Maybe I should go!  :-)

Complicated and Messy

This is one of those weeks where, if you happen to see our family, we would look perfectly normal. But inside, we are not ok. I'm not talking about Steve's and my relationship. We're fine. I just mean that there are things going on right now in our family that are really complicated and messy. They're so messy that I can't even write about it. Once the dust settles, and I'm still hoping that it does, I can probably give a little more information. Just know that we are into some very intense parenting right now and have a specialized therapist involved, but very few other people. If we seem to be 'closing ranks' as a family, don't take it personally, just know that we have issues that we need to concentrate on for the time being.


It's terribly ironic that just when I've really started writing again, something so complicated comes along that I can't even write about it. I'm one of those people who usually hate facebook for that very reason. I think it's ridiculous when people post really vague things and then when someone asks about it, they say that they don't want to share. It seems more like an attention getting thing to me. 


I'm NOT intentionally trying to do that. I DO think it's important that my friends know that we have stuff going on right now. I need a few days or weeks to figure out some things and the next steps we need to take. As I have more information and feel like I can share, I'll try to share more.


I was reminded a few weeks ago at the conference that when I write, people not only get an unexpected glimpse into our life, it also helps others not to feel so alone when they face some of the same types of challenging issues. I'll try to bring you along on some of our journey as soon as I safely can.


So tonight, instead of a track meet and swimming, a few of us will have a late evening consultation with a therapist who has re-arranged her already demanding and hectic schedule to accommodate us.


Then we'll see what tomorrow brings. I'm hoping it brings a massage because my shoulders and neck are so tight from stress that it's giving me a headache!


On a positive note, our new insurance will finally start on Friday and, for the past two uninsured months, we haven't had any serious medical issues! Yet................
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All Nations Festival

I'm not sure if it's called the All Nations Festival or the World Outreach Festival. Either way, we had a booth for Guatemala. We made Chicken Tortilla Soup, horchata  and banana cake.