Perspective

Here is a thought on perspective:


A while ago, I was driving some of the kids to the Middle school. We didn't have a lot of time and traffic is always awful around the schools in the morning. I just happened to get behind a pickup. The speed limit is 25 and then changes to 15 near the school. The pickup was going 20 and then long before the school sign, slowed to just under 10mph. I was getting really frustrated! I started mumbling.


When we finally made it to the school driveway where we all needed to turn across traffic, the pickup stopped in the road instead of turning in to the parking lot. My mumbling became a lot louder. No. I did not actually swear but I was getting close to wanting to! I looked in the distance and saw a car slowing coming toward us in the opposite lane at the appropriate speed of a whopping 15pmh. The pickup seemed to be waiting for that car before turning! Seriously!!! I was fuming!


The pickup had tons of room and ten cars probably could've driven in during the time we were all waiting in a line in the street. After the car eventually drove by, the pickup finally turned. It was then that we could see that the driver was very young. Riley said it was a boy in his 8th grade class who had just gotten his license.


Suddenly, the perspective of the situation changed completely. Instead of being frustrated with a slow idiot driver, I was proud of the fact that the kid took his time and was learning and behaving in an overly cautious manner. I had empathy and even patience for him and his situation.


I've done a lot of soul searching over the past few months. Mostly involving trying to parent well and keep everyone afloat, both emotionally and financially. In doing so, I let myself be dragged down. I believe we're currently on the upswing, not because circumstances have changed significantly but because my perspective seems to be changing.


At the risk of sounding selfish, I think I'm finally realizing that there are steps I need to take that ensure that I have the emotional and physical energy to help keep everyone else where they need to be. Part of that is realizing that I cannot be everything for everyone. Part is figuring out how to safely have some time for myself. We finally have a very loud door alarm on one of the bedroom doors and I can't even tell you the amount stress that has taken off of me. Maybe more on the reasoning behind that later.


One of the things I miss is writing. It seems to help to get thoughts out of my head and into words. A number of people have told me that they miss reading the blog. I think that was just the encouragement I needed to start up again.