The other night I received a phone call from a distraught friend. I'm not going to give a lot of specifics (and please don't ask me) because, like I said before, a significant portion of the story isn't mine.
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The short version is that they have adopted children and one of their children is really struggling right now. And when a child struggles, the whole family struggles. As I was driving around in the dark helping to seek their lost child, there were a lot of thoughts going through my head. I was worried because it was so cold. I was also very concerned because I knew the child was frightened. Even though the child portrayed anger and ran, the real issue is a deep sense of loss and not being able to trust anyone, which turned into a fight or flight situation.

I knew that there was little hope of finding the child unless they wanted to be found or unless God intervened. God and I had a long conversation that night. As much as I wanted to find the child and help keep them safe, I also knew that it was more important for the parents to pursue the child and show the child that they cared enough seek the child. (Side note: It's really hard to type a cohesive story without using he/she and specific information)

I also came to the conclusion that I needed to be open and honest with the parents about what I had felt as a child and what I feel now. I have the advantage of being able to use my voice now like I never could when I was younger. I can give them some bit of insight into what their child is probably feeling. Because their child doesn't have the words yet either. In fact, they probably don't even know why they feel so angry and lost.

So after the child was brought home safely (THANK YOU GOD!), I gave my friends a hug and talked to them for a few minutes about what their child was probably feeling. I don't ever have a problem talking about my adoption in specific facts but I never really discuss the feelings associated with it. But I knew it was important in this situation to be as open and transparent as possible for this child and these parents.

I also have the advantage of being not only an adopted child but also an adoptive parent. I could also cry with them and tell them I'm sorry that it's so hard and reassure them they are good parents.

They have a long road ahead of them so please keep their family in your prayers. And if you have a little extra time, maybe ours too :)
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