Family in Crisis

The blog posts will be few and far between for a while, and what I do post will be just for fun. I would blame being busy but that's not exactly the truth.

 We are again a family in crisis. There are some pretty serious things going and we would appreciate your prayers and kind words. I'm not comfortable blogging about the situation because I don't want it documented for the entire world at this point in time. Maybe someday. Maybe not. Unfortunately, I use blogging as a way to process my own thoughts and it's bugging me that I can't do that right now. Just know that it involves our children and we are doing everything possible and have a good support system. It was definitely in God's plan that I'm not tied in to being at work every day right now. 

Ironically enough, I thought I had other serious issues to deal with but they're nothing compared to what we're dealing with now.

I am willing to talk, even if it might be vaguely, about what's going on - but only in person or private email or messaging. Thanks for keeping us in your prayers!
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Sophia Says

You can tell that Sophia usually goes shopping with me. Tonight Brittney took Sophia to Walmart. As they were getting out of the van, Sophia asked Brittney, "Do you have your list?"

 That's my girl!!!
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Yesterday was a fun day in a keep moving sort of way. Steve was at the Swiftel Center all day for AAU wrestling and I had lots of stuff going on. Church, coffee, lunch at the Valley w/family, bridal shower for a friend, meeting, chatting and another meeting. The nice thing about the meetings was that they were with friends who I could sit and chat with so it was more than just a regular boring meeting.
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Dilemma for the week: During their school careers, the kids make various art objects in art class. It's usually the same craft for each grade each year. For example, each kids made some sort of clay bowl in 1st grade. All of the various clay/art projects are then brought home and I put them in on my wall-long book shelf in my bedroom. It holds all my special books, a few pictures and all those little projects. In the 5th grade, the art project is a mask. Four years ago, Brittney made a cute little mask. Riley just came home with the mask he made. It's a red devil face and I don't want to put it up on the shelf. So do I just suck it up and put it up there with everything else or do I just tell him that I don't like it and put it somewhere else. I can't imaging looking at it everytime I come into my room, which is currently my favorite place in the house.
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It's a stay home and relax kind of day. I'm in my sweats with a good cup of coffee. It's Steve's Saturday morning to work at the bank, Brittney's headed off to babysit all morning, Riley went to play in a basketball tournament and the rest of us are just being lazy. Zeke and Anthony are making a fort in their room and Sophia and Taylor are taking a shower and making themselves beautiful. I'm feeling pretty good today!
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Sometimes it's hard to parent with the types of behaviors that my kids keep exhibiting but there are also great moments too. Like this morning when Riley's coach picked him up. When I gave them money for lunch and thanked them for taking Riley, the coache's wife leaned across to me and smiled. She said she was so excited when she heard Riley was riding with them. "He's our entertainment and so easy to have along! He can ride with us anytime!" It made my heart smile. He's always been a great kid but some of his behaviors made it impossible for us not be with him all the time. He's come so far!
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Sophia Says

Ok. I'm back. Just for a minute before I head to work for a few hours. But here's the Sophia story I promised last week:

Just a heads up, might be TMI :)

When Sophia was at my parents' house, she came running to my mom and was very excited.

"Grandma, I made an 'S'!!!" 

We've been working on the letters in her name, so there was good reason to be excited.

"Grandma, come see! I made an 'S'!

Sophia then took my mom's hand and pulled her down the hallway..........and into the bathroom, where she proceeded to point at the toilet. She had, indeed, pooped in the shape of an 'S'.
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Life

Life has gotten in the way of blogging.
I'm headed to Lincoln, NE with my family.
I'm so thankful for a loving husband and my supportive friend Kim.
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Yes, I do realize that it's already Tuesday night and I haven't blogged in a few days. I have a couple of stories from this weekend bouncing around in my head. I'm delivering the kids to school in the morning and then meeting with Val at 8:15am here at my house. I have laundry and blogging on my to-do list after that. I don't promise to write about anything insightful but it should be entertaining.
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Here's a teaser: Sophia found a special way to learn her alphabet while at grandma & grandpa's house ;)
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I'm not in such a crabby mood anymore. Here's a few positives:

1) My eldest child took the driving portion of her license test today.........and passed!!! She can now drive by herself. I have mixed feelings about that but I'm so proud of her! I'll admit I was bit of a sentimental when she drove off by herself to track practice. Don't worry. We talked about driving right there and back and being safe. I'm really not too worried about her but there's just something about your child meeting another milestone and going off into the world where you can't protect them. Just this morning.....oh wait, that has nothing to do with her license so I'll have to tell that story another time.

2) One of my friends is willing to commiserate and laugh with me. At least I think she's laughing with me and not at me. lol! Although I don't think it's fair that she has turned my people skills against me! I let her in on one of my social survival skills and she used it on me this morning. So not fair! The best part is, I didn't even realize it at the time! She's that good!

3) I took Sophia to lunch when I was meeting a friend. The lunch conversation was just what I needed and Sophia was content the whole hour and a half. It's so nice to spend time with someone who knows me so well.

4) I thought it would be a good idea to connect with my brother last night. I was feeling sentimental and all alone. Well, all alone with six kids, but still. So I texted him. We don't connect that often and we don't need to have long drawn out conversations to feel connected but I also realized it's been a while since I've talked to him. Here's our text conversation, with my thoughts added in parenthesis:

Me: Just a quick note to say I miss u & love u!
(I hardly ever never get mushy like this except with my brother)

Him: Who is this
(After the kind of week I had, I really don't need you messing with me like this! I know you're trying to be funny but I don't think I can take it right now.)

Me: Your favorite sister :) Don't you have my name programmed in your phone?

Him: Whats your name

Me: Are you kidding me???? I know I'm terrible at keeping in touch, but seriously!

Him: U have the wrong number
(About this time, I check the number I've been texting and discover it's my brother's old number from Minnesota. It really is a wrong number. Oops!)
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Crabby

So I never did make it to church. I dropped off three of the kids though. I did end up at Chocolatte for coffee and was glad I went. I've been drinking a lot of coffee lately but it's either that or alcohol so I probably better stick with the coffee.

I've just been in a really down mood lately. I'm not exactly sure why but I think it's a combination of things.

1) I feel like I don't have a connection anymore to the friends/co-workers at headstart. Any ending relationships are extremely difficult for me. The argument has been made by my therapist that the personal relationship doesn't have to end just because the work relationship is over but I don't transition well. I usually just walk away.

2) Some friends of ours are adopting (not a baby) and it's been a struggle for me because I understand quite a few of the confusing feelings that little one is/will be having. I've lived through it, both in my own life, with four of my children and also with friends who have struggled through. I have a bit of insight about how hard it is and it's bringing up a lot of feelings that I'd rather not have right now. That being said, I do wish them the best and know that God has it all under control.

3) Sophia's birth mom is pregnant. She's in no better spot to parent than the last time. I feel so badly for that new little one. How long will it take for this one to be removed? And what damage will be done in the meantime? BTW: We have no intentions of taking this child at any point, unless there are absolutely NO other options.

4)I think I may have destroyed my relationship with my amazing therapist. I got angry. Enough said.

5) My birthday is coming up. I really don't care to memorialize the day that I was abandoned by my birthmom. It's not my favorite day. I haven't heard from her for a few months now. I may or may not get a sappy card for my birthday that says how much she loves me and how much I mean to her. Really? And you can't pick up the phone, text or FB message me once in a while?

Told you I was crabby. I'll try to get my act together before the next post. I think the next kid on my post list is Taylor. And Nan, if you reading this, you're on my list for lunch this week!!!!!
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So my anti-social attitude only lasted until 11:30am today. A friend picked me up and we met two other friends for lunch at a great little Italian place. We didn't leave until almost 2:30. :)
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Movie night with the kids tonight (we watched Dreamer) and then I'm crawling into bed as soon as possible.
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Pretty sure that I won't be in church tomorrow but you never know.
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Project for this morning: Tackling the overwhelming emails in my inbox. I've been working on it most of the morning and I'm currently under 500 in my inbox and under 100 in my unopened emails! I'm hoping to have it totally under control again by the end of the week.

Yesterday I got my phone fixed so I can get into my voicemails again. Not that I really listen to them much anyway. If you need me, text :)
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It appears that I might not leave the house at all this week except to drop the kids off at school. I'm in another severe anti-social mood.
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Steve's currently at Riley's basketball tournament in Dell Rapids. They took Anthony with them so I just have the 3 girls and Zeke at home.
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