I was getting worried yet again about the money it will take to get our current house ready to sell. We've already done some work with the $250 I wrote about before. I've completely cleaned out the dining room, given it a fresh coat of paint and moved things to storage. Steve has patched three holes in walls, fixed a broken window (the one that Anthony put his head through last summer), purchased some trim, fixed some outlets and some lights.
We have three bedrooms and a bathroom on the main level of our house that have older doors that don't match the trim and doors in the rest of the house. It was like that when we moved in 10 years ago. We always intended to replace them but it always seems that the money was better spent somewhere else. We also have laminate flooring in the kitchen and office that really needs to be replaced.
Steve and I were discussing whether to replace the laminate flooring or to put in linoleum if we put the house on the market. He priced out what we decided. It would be $300, if we install it ourselves. I went back and forth. Kim continues to remind me that if God wants our house sold, He already has the buyers and I don't need to stress over what we think we need to do. That being said, we know that the better the house looks, the better the chance of selling. I guess it comes back to "I do what I can and God does what I can't."
So I told Steve that we would continue to work on all the little things that we could do with the money and time we already have. Money continues to be tight and I'm leaving for Guatemala in two weeks, but God is in control. If God choses to provide the money for the flooring in a miraculous way, then we would know that's what we are supposed to do. Steve agreed.
That was yesterday. Did I say that this was a mini-story? I guess it's a long story!
This morning, I was attending the first morning of a new bible study on the life of David. (More on that in another story :) After the initial discussion and then a video, I quickly left to visit the bathroom because of all the coffee I'd had that morning. As I was alone in the restroom, I realized that as much as I want this new house for lots of good reasons and probably a few selfish ones too, I've told God that I trust Him. That in itself is a big step for me. But I realized this morning that I've never actually asked God for the house. I don't like to ask. It's been ingrained in me for a long time. But I felt God needed to hear it from me. So I did. I told God that I really wanted to move into this new house and asked Him for it.
It occurred to me that God already knows what I want and need but He loves it when I'm comfortable enough to ask Him for what I need or want. It reminds me of a child asking a parent for something they really want. The parent's joy isn't in the question, it's in the trust involved in the asking. Maybe I didn't ask because I knew He already knew. Maybe I didn't ask because I was afraid of a 'no' answer. Maybe I'm just afraid of giving up my independence and asking for help. My therapist has been trying for a long time to convince me that it's ok to ask for what I need. Maybe I'm finally getting it a little ;)
I was returning to class after my prayer in the bathroom when I received an email from Steve. He was letting me know that they had a bank meeting this morning and he will be receiving an unexpected bonus on his paycheck this Friday! Almost $3,000!
I guess God is ready for us to get some fresh coats of paint on the wall, purchase the doors and put new flooring in the kitchen. We'll definitely be obedient! The best part is, even if we don't get the new house, we'll have lots of things done in this house that we've been putting off for a long time.
God is so good!!!
Ironically, I just told Steve yesterday that I hadn't been under the umbrella of God's grace for a few months but I'm feeling secure there again. Just to be clear, both times I moved; He didn't. I told Steve that now that I was following God's leading again, who knows what spectacular things will happen. There have already been so many miracles in our lives in the past. I told Steve to hang on because he was in for a roller coaster ride!!!
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