I hope I don't sound like a hotel snob but it's been a long time since I've stayed at a hotel with only two pillows per bed! It's the Super 8 in Redfield SD. I think they only have 20 rooms.
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We did get a lot done at Steve's mom's house today. As of tonight, the entire second floor is empty, the dining room is empty, the front room is empty, the basement is almost empty, the master bedroom is almost empty and the kitchen is close to being empty. My parents drove over this afternoon with an enclosed trailer so we'll be packing it up tomorrow.

Riley Says

Riley and I had an interesting conversation today while waiting for the lab to call him in to get his blood drawn:

R: "Sometimes I poke my finger with a needle. Not so far that it bleeds. Just through the first layer of skin and then I poke it out the other side. Then I eat the dead skin."
Me: "Ewwwww!"
R: "At least it's healthier than eating cookies."
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Riley

I received a phone call at work today that Riley was running a fever at school so I went to pick him up. He's been complaining of headaches for a couple of weeks now but hasn't had any other symptoms. By the time I picked him up in the nurse's office, he was holding his head and crying. She told me his temp was 102. I decided that I needed to take him to the doctor because the headaches had been going on for too long and now the fever added another dimention. I called the clinic to see when I could get him in. They found an opening at 3:40pm and proceeded to get the necessary information from me. Meanwhile, Riley is sounding progressively worse in the backseat. The nurse asked me if that was Riley she was hearing. When I told her it was, she put me on hold for a minute and then came back and asked if we could come in at 1:30. I told her I thought that would be a good idea and she even suggested the ER if I needed to. This is the child who has only been to the clinic once in the last 6 years other than immunizations.
So we headed to the clinic, saw his doctor, did lots of swabs and drew lots of blood. The end result is that Riley has Mono. The worst moment was when the doctor told him he can't participate in any contact sports or strenuous activities, including PE at school, for at least three weeks, if not longer. Not that he really feels like doing any of that anyway but I think the idea just bothers him.
I thought I'd have to really revamp our weekend plans but it turns out we have some awesome friends/sitters. One is a special ed major who has had mono before and knows exactly what it's all about. The other is a nursing major and wasn't fazed at all. So they'll be watching Taylor and Riley tomorrow night and then keeping Sophia, Taylor and Riley on Saturday. I'll come home Saturday evening so I won't even be gone too long.
Now I'm going to eat and finish packing Sophia, who will be staying with some friends who also happened to be licensed foster parents :)
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Riley's Question

I got a big question tonight from Riley. I was actually suprised he waited this long to ask. Sophia's mom was visiting us tonight and Riley whispered in my ear, "How come she gets to see her mom?"
His meaning was clear. How come he doesn't get to see his mom.
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At Riley's concert last night, I had to fight back tears. Not because of the usual 'I'm so proud of my child and they are growing up so fast' reasons but because I was going through some pretty powerful emotions while he was standing in his suit among all his classmates looking so grown-up and young at the same time. All I could think about was that his biological mom was missing out on a very important moment in her child's life. Again. And even though she may wish right now that she was here watching, she had numerous opportunities in the past to be a part of the boys' life. It took years of intervention before her parental rights were terminated. But she made choices that will have us answering tough questions for a long time to come, most of them coming from Riley but sometimes questions bounce around in my head too.
Some of the questions that I pondered through tear-filled eyes during the concert were:
How could anything ever be more important than your child?
Why wouldn't you do everything in your power to ensure that you could be there for your child.
Do you have any comprehension of what you're missing out on? Not just for yourself, but for your child.
He's becoming a young man - without the mom who gave birth to him sitting in the bleachers cheering him on and encouraging him through life. And he knows it. And I know it too.
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Brittney Says

This morning Brittney knocked on the door of the bathroom and asked if she could stick her head in the shower. I assumed she just needed to wet down her hair a little so I let her in. She proceeded to lean over the tub, get her hair wet, shampoo and then condition it, which took about 10 minutes. When I asked her why she didn't just take a shower, her response was, "because then my whole body would have to dry instead of just my hair!"
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Home

The Sawyer Brown tickets have not been located so we won't be going to the concert in Sioux Falls tonight. Which is probably a good thing because Riley called me at 5:20 tonight and informed me that he has a school concert tonight.
I currently have two kids at grandma's (Sophia & Zeke), one kid going to gymnastics(Brittney), one kid sobbing because she didn't get to finish a poster contest (Taylor), one kid crying because he's in trouble for repeatedly not respecting authority tonight at The Club (Anthony) and one really tired kid dressed in a suit who calls it a tuxedo (Riley).

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Tired

The past weekend was fun but I came home exhausted. I was so tired yesterday that I didn't get out of bed until 7:30am. Considering that I left the house by 7:45am with three of the kids and two large cups of coffee, I thought I did pretty good. Lots of challenges at work yesterday and everyone there is gearing up for the Federal Review team that's coming next week so it's a little tense. After work, Riley forgot about piano lessons so I had to drop Taylor off at 4pm, pick up Sophia at daycare, drive to The Club to get Riley, make sure he got to piano and get home in time to meet Sophia's case worker. I was unbuckling Sophia just as she pulled up! Then Brittney informed me that she had to help instruct a cheer flight class at 5:30. Steve was home when I got back from delivering Brit so I crawled into bed and slept until my phone rang at 7:30pm. It was Brittney asking me to pick her up but Steve was already on his way.
I feel much better this morning and was able to get up when my alarm went off at 5:15am. The kids all got ready and got their chores done but I'm out of creamer again so I guess I'll leave a little early so I can drive through somewhere :)
I thought I had the evening off tonight but Brittney left me a note that she has a meeting for track after school and I need to pick her up. Then she has tumbling and after that gymnastics. So as Steve was rushing out the door this morning, I told him we had a lot going on tonight. He promptly informed me that we don't because we're going to a concert in Sioux Falls tonight. I totally forgot and obviously never put it on my calendar! It didn't help that Steve was responsible for the tickets and this morning he couldn't find them! Maybe we won't be going tonight ;)
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I'm sooooo behind on laundry and really need to get it done but I'm still hoping to post some more pictures. Maybe I'll try to get it done from my phone.

Wildfire SeniorTeam

Cheer Championship

Mid America Center

Council Bluffs, IA

They took 2nd Place in their division

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Brittney Practicing for this Weekend

Brittney & Riley and the Latest Exotic Fruit

Challenging Day

Yesterday was another challenging day. I had one particular child at headstart who was testing me all morning long. My van was finally fixed but the bill was over a thousand dollars. That's the second week in a row that I've had to write a check that large. (Brit's braces last week). I had two different meetings on my schedule yesterday, one starting at 4pm and one starting at 4:30pm, so I requested that they meet at my house. I had four people waiting on my deck when I got home a little late because my meeting at work ran late. That group met in our dining room and I put Amy with Early Childhood downstairs. I'm also trying to make sure all the kids' laundry gets done and their summer clothes are sorted out because I'm going to be gone this weekend. So far, I have Anthony's, Zeke's and Riley's done and Sophia's partly done.
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Other Issues from Yesterday:

• I was tired and crabby by late afternoon. I guess four hours of sleep a night isn't cutting it.
• Riley walked to The Club when he was supposed to be riding the bus to The Club. He's so easily swayed by peer pressure that we're really careful when he is completely without adult supervision. It's such a small town that he was ratted out by quite a few people even before I picked him up that afternoon. Bummer for him!
• Taylor's been getting onto sites on the computer that she shouldn't. Now we have a password on our computer again.
• Brittney was having a teen moment. She had cheer practice at 6pm and then wanted to go to practice gymnastics downtown when she was done. I told her no because the day before she claimed she couldn't do anything because her gymnastics coach said she had some kind of muscle/tendon issues around her knee. Now Brittney was telling me that working out would help losen it up. She also didn't have the $10 for the gym fee and I knew she was really tired. So she went to cheer practice and then I picked her up and took her to Walmart with me. She pouted the whole way there and I told her I wasn't going to argue with her. As we were walking by the front doors of Walmart, we ran into some friends. The mom casually asked Brittney, "How's it going?" and Brittney burst into tears! Needless to say, I didn't spend much time at Walmart. Just got our stuff and went home. By the time we got home and I was sitting at the table trying to finish up some paperwork, Brittney was laughing and joking with me and was even able to laugh about the Walmart crying incident. I'll be glad when we get out of this moody teen phase :)

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Highlights of the Day

Highlights of the day:
Skipped church again but sent 3 of the kids.
Organized lots of the kids summer clothes.
Gave away a bunkbed and fooseball/airhockey table.
Had supper & a good chat with a spectacular friend.
Sophia spilled a cup of water on my side of the bed.

Riley's Ready for Summer

Steve's 40th Birthday Present

Steve Turns 40

I think I'm always going to be saying that I'll be a better blogger when............
My current statement is that I'll have more time to blog when school gets out for the summer. I can sit outside with the kids and type :)
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I say that because I feel like I'm behind again. Steve turned 40 last Wednesday and not only was I out of town but I also didn't even mention it on the blog. I'm hoping to do a little "photo essay" on the life of Steve but we'll see when time permits. Anyway, that morning I texted him during a morning break and told him happy birthday and that he could meet me for supper in SF if he wanted to. I didn't hear anything back so I assumed he already had plans or couldn't get the kids taken care of. About 4pm, he texted me back letting me know that he had the kids covered for the evening and he was on his way! When we were discussing evening plans in our class, I told them I had a hot date. They teased me about it for the rest of the afternoon!

My meeting was done by 4:30pm that afternoon so Steve and I met at HuHot for supper. Not to be mistaken for 'hottub', which is where Staci thought I was when she was texting back and forth with me. After eating, we drove around and looked at cars because Steve was in need of another vehicle. We found a few we liked but nothing we were willing to commit to. Then I took him back to the hotel and we sat and talked for an hour or so. We don't get that opportunity much so we take it when we can. As we talked, the sun was setting and the downtown lights were coming on. It was beautiful!
When I was telling a friend about watching the lights, she asked if we walked down to the Falls. I kind of intended to, but as I said before, we don't get much time to ourselves so eventually we weren't just talking anymore ;) Eventually, we went out for ice cream and then I took Steve back to his car so he could drive home.
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So Happy Birthday Old Man!!!  :)
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Highlights from Hobbie Reunion 2012

This is what the back of our van looks like

when it's packed for a three day weekend

with all of the clothes and food

for two adults and five children.

(Brit didn't go)

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 This is what the inside of our van looked like.

It was actually pretty quiet for most of the trip.

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Who's the stud driving to Omaha?

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We couldn't check into the hotel until 3pm

so we took the kids to the bridge and let them run around and roll down the hills.

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Checking out the river

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Grandpa & the boys

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Grandma & the girls

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Steve made me take this picture!

If you haven't noticed, there aren't many pictures with me in them.

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One of the best reunion stories ever!

My mom got down in between the wall and the bed in one of the hotel rooms 

to talk to one of the kids who was on the bed.

Aftera few minutes, she laughed and said, "You might have to help me up."

We laughed and then she said, "No. Really. You have to help me up. I'm stuck."

My uncle moved over to help her but I held him off just long enought to take a picture.

Right before I clicked the button, she put her hands together like she was praying so that everyone who saw the picture would think she was religious instead of stuck!

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Cousins

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Cousins!

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Worn out.

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Grandpa

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This train simulator was at the Train Museum.

The kids loved it!

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More at the Train Museum

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Trying out seats.

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This is how I found Riley when I came outside.

I guess he's learning to meditate!

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Steve outside the museum.

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Aubrey, Heather & Coby.

(My sister)

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The men took all the kids to a park

and the women went on a tour of the Historic Dodge House.

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Afterwards, we all met for lunch.

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Our fun day exhausted at least one member of our family!

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In the evenings, we head back to the hotel and have a smorgasboard of food that we've brought to share. The food's usually better than a restaraunt and cheaper too!

After we've eaten, the adults chat or play games

and the kids go swimming and find ways to amuse themselves.

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On Sunday, we all attend church together and then eat lunch at Quaker Steaks & Lube.

The food is great and they have cars and motorcycles hanging from the ceiling!

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All Coby wanted was onion rings.

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Great weekend with great family!

Can't wait till next year :)

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"THE CLASS" in 4th Grade

Some parents worry about what information their child will receive at puberty class during 4th grade. Usually the girls want nothing to do with the class. Riley's been waiting for two years just so he could be in the class! Let's just say he's gotten a lot of interesting information from friends who have been in the class before him.
Some parents are worried about the infomation their kids will be hearing but I can't wait to hear what they come home with.  I still remember the day I received the paperwork after the class was over and I had no idea Brittney was even in the class. I didn't realize they started those kinds of discussions in 4th grade so I questioned her about what they talked about in Sex Ed. She looked at me like I was crazy and told me that she wasn't in sex ed! We argued back and forth and I finally said, "Yes you are! I saw the paper!"
She looked at me disgustingly, rolled her eyes and said, "MOM! That's not sex ed! It's puberty class!
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I heard about Riley's latest in a text from my mom:
"Riley was telling me about puberty class (with Taylor in the van too) and I said something like "yeah, it's good to know about how your body will be making changes".
He said, and I quote, "You're lucky Grandma that you didn't have to go through that class".
When I told him that girls learned about puberty too he said, "yeah, but you didn't have to learn about your sexuality because yours is broken and you adopted kids!"
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Gotta love pubery class........not to be mistaken for sex ed!
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Training

I have to admit that it's hard work to pretend to be interested in this training. Here are a few reasons why:

They are attempting to train us to train prospective foster parents. I've already been doing that for 2 years, with the material they are teaching us. In fact, yesterday I ran into the gal from Children's Home that I co-train with and she questioned why I was there. She doesn't have to attend the trainings but we are having lunch together on Thursday :)

Out of 22 people there, 18 are social workers and/or licensing workers. They are mandated to be at the meeting. There are only 4 foster parents.

Our four "master trainers" (their words, not ours :) have been in the system about 20 years each and aren't the best speakers. It was really ironic that the entire first day of training, they were trying to teach us how to best train adults. They were giving us all kinds of information about how to keep the material interesting, how to know the audience, how to use techniques that would encourage participation, etc and the whole room was completely bored out of our minds the entire afternoon. If they can't even keep us interested, how in the world do they have the authority and know-how to teach us to keep other adults interested?

Enough with the negative. Here's a few positives to the week:

The person who signed me up for the training actually told me where to sit! That wasn't a positive and made me kind of crabby but then one of the DSS people I know from the Foster Parent Network ended up beside me so it ended well :)

Best moment of the training: when one of the "master trainers" who shall remain nameless, stumbled three times over the word 'sex'. Call me juvenile, but it was funny! Especially if you know her. Don't worry, I didn't laugh out loud :)

I've met some new people and made some new connections. I actually made two other people go out for lunch with me. I just walked over when they dismissed us and asked if they had lunch plans. When they said they didn't, I told them we should all go together. I originally thought they came together but it turned out they didn't really know anyone at the training, including each other. I know. I know. I'm supposed to be anti-social. But someone's got to step up and make the first move when people are too intimidated to talk to each other. We ended up having no shortage of words during lunch and were almost late for the afternoon session :)

When one of the instructors, a really nice gal (Mom - think Carleen Holm), was training us in diffusing hostility from the group or an individual, I had a really strong urge to start arguing with her about techniques. Not because I thought she was wrong. I just wanted to slip into scary debate mode to see how she would respond. I'm pretty sure she wouldn't have been able to use any of the 'techniques' that she was claiming would work. It would've been fun to get her riled up! And you know I could've done it. But I held myself back and sat quietly :)

I've had time to myself in the evenings. The first night, I didn't even turn on the tv or computer. I sat in complete silence and read until I'd finished my book. Last night, I came back to my room by 4:30pm, intending to change and rest for a few minutes before doing paperwork and then going out. The next thing I knew, I was waking up at 8pm! I guess I was pretty tired. So I called home and got to talk to my baby, my hubby and my eldest, then worked for a while and was back to sleep by 10:30pm :)
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The most positive thing I can say about this training is that they've taught me a lot about what NOT to do when training adults :)
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Staci's Lunch with Riley

The following is a text I received from Steve's sister Staci, who isn't married and has no kids of her own. She thought it would be fun to have lunch with some of our kids while she was in town :)

"I was informed by your eldest son during lunch that he was going to get married by the age of 18 but then adopt so he wouldn't have to "reproduce. That way I can keep my body parts to myself!" Today was the first day of puberty class. He made me laugh so hard! That was the last topic I thought we would cover over lunch!
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Brittney's Braces

View from my Hotel Window

PRIDE Training of Trainers

I'm in Sioux Falls all week for a training of trainers for PRIDE (the foster parent training). I've been co-training for two years now and love it! The main trainer I work with is easy to teach with and I absolutely love working with prospective foster/kinship parents.

This current training involves about 20 of us, all DSS workers except for myself and one foster dad, that are being trained to train others. At the risk of sounding full of myself, I already know most of the information they are telling us because I've already been doing the training. Ironically, they spent the first afternoon instructing us in adult learning styles and how to best teach adults. Seeing how all of us there are adults and we were bored out of our minds, I think the only thing they actually taught me was what not to do during training if I want to keep our foster parents interested in the program! At least, being a state run program, we were out of there by 5pm.

I intended to get a ton of paperwork done last night but instead, I unloaded my suitcase and computer at the hotel, picked up some supper and went back to the hotel and read. I very seldom get the chance to read un-interrupted so I decided that's what I was going do with my evening. I didn't check in with any Sioux Falls friends. I didn't turn on my computer. I didn't even turn on the TV. I did answer phone calls from my kids :)

Tonight I will actually be working on the computer and finishing paperwork so maybe I'll get the pictures from the Omaha Reunion up later.

Now I'd better finish my coffee and get ready to head back to Children's Home Society for today's training. We start at 8am so I think I'll take lots of coffee with me!
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Back from Omaha & sitting on the floor making fun of my sister-in-law Staci.  She's taking it pretty well :)

I forgot to post the court outcome. All parental rights are now terminated. next step is wairing 30 days for appeal, then wait for state paperwork, then our attorney can file for a court date for adoption.

Headed out of town! With a mandatory first stop at Chocolatte :)

A woman is like a tea bag,

you can not tell how strong she is

until you put her in hot water.

 ~ Nancy Reagan

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Yet again, so much going on that I haven't had any time to post anything! The last week has been really busy and it's no small feat to pack six children for a three day weekend trip. We leave Friday morning for a family reunion in Omaha and return Sunday night. Monday morning, Brittney gets her top braces on and then I leave for a four day training in Sioux Falls. They're springing for hotel rooms during the training, which makes me a bit nervous about the length of the training sessions each day, but I'm actually looking forward to getting some paperwork done and reading in the evenings. I feel like I'm getting behind on a lot of things. I'm taking my computer so hopefully I'll have a few more posts and pictures next week :)
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Short Version

Short version -

• Friday - She showed up and the weekend was really good.
• Saturday - We watched Brittney's cheer team take 1st place at the cheer meet and I had a great time with my friend Jen talking and watching Basketball.
• Sunday - I slept most of the day.
• Monday - Brittney received her first "letter" for a varsity sport at the gymnastics year-end meeting tonight. Now she wants us to buy her a letter jacket to put it on :)
• Tomorrow - Court for our little one and then the championship basketball game in Sioux Falls.
• At some point - Packing for our Family Reunion in Omaha this weekend, leaving Friday morning.

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Store #2 and I saw three more people I knew, although I ducked back around a corner before one couple saw me. I'm seriously considering a haircut and a new coat just so no one recognizes me.

I've only been in SF an hour and I've already run into two people I know. I was hoping just to melt into the crowd and not have to talk to anyone. I might have to go check into the hotel before I see anyone else.

It's Friday

I went in to work for a couple of hours and now I'm headed to Sioux Falls. Hopefully the kids are all shuffled to the apropriate places tonight and for the remainder of the weekend.
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Friday Night

I figured out what I'm doing on Friday night. If you read a previous post, that's the night that my birth mom might spend the weekend with me in Sioux Falls. She asked me to find a hotel with a hot tub and said she'd call me back the next morning to get the information from me. I haven't heard from her yet.

Rather than wait around to see when/if she'll call, I decided to go ahead and reserve a room at the hotel of my choice. I texted her with the information this morning. We're supposed to meet at 2pm on Friday so I probably won't know for sure until that afternoon. If she comes, great!  If not, I'm still going to go and have fun. I might invite Steve, since he has to be in Sioux Falls Saturday morning anyway for the Summit League Basketball Tournament. I might invite my friend who's going to the basketball games with me on Saturday. I might invite another friend I haven't been able to hang out with for a while. I might just go myself and relax with a good book. I have lots of options and I feel like I have some control of the situation and it's alleviated most of my stress. :)
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PS: Thanks Sarah! It does help to know that there are others out there who deal with the same kind of relational issues. Ideally, we both know that God can fulfill our relational needs but in reality, it's still a constant struggle.
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Court

Next court date for our little one is now scheduled for Tuesday March 6th.
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