I got a big question tonight from Riley. I was actually suprised he waited this long to ask. Sophia's mom was visiting us tonight and Riley whispered in my ear, "How come she gets to see her mom?"
His meaning was clear. How come he doesn't get to see his mom.
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At Riley's concert last night, I had to fight back tears. Not because of the usual 'I'm so proud of my child and they are growing up so fast' reasons but because I was going through some pretty powerful emotions while he was standing in his suit among all his classmates looking so grown-up and young at the same time. All I could think about was that his biological mom was missing out on a very important moment in her child's life. Again. And even though she may wish right now that she was here watching, she had numerous opportunities in the past to be a part of the boys' life. It took years of intervention before her parental rights were terminated. But she made choices that will have us answering tough questions for a long time to come, most of them coming from Riley but sometimes questions bounce around in my head too.
Some of the questions that I pondered through tear-filled eyes during the concert were:
How could anything ever be more important than your child?
Why wouldn't you do everything in your power to ensure that you could be there for your child.
Do you have any comprehension of what you're missing out on? Not just for yourself, but for your child.
He's becoming a young man - without the mom who gave birth to him sitting in the bleachers cheering him on and encouraging him through life. And he knows it. And I know it too.
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