Heartbroken

I'd love to tell a funny story and make everyone laugh. I'd like to be upbeat and encouraging. But not today. Today I'm heartbroken over a life ended before we were ready to let him go. This morning, I experienced a profound sorrow and feeling of loss, some anger and a lot of guilt. I'm so sorry that he felt death was the only option left. I'm sick to my stomach that his children are fatherless.........again. I'm angry at the system and family that backed him into a corner. And I feel guilty for not rallying the christian community around him to carry him when he couldn't walk by himself. I'll write more logically later. Right now I'm letting the feelings flow where they may.