I Will Stand By You and Your Dreams

I haven't really felt like sharing any personal stories for quite a while now. I'm always fascinated by people that have overcome adversity because I want to know what it was/is that gives them hope. So I've decided to tell a story that isn't mine. It's a true story that was shared by E'rma Brundidge at the Called to Love Retreat that I attended near Portland a few weeks ago. She has an amazing life story and this is just a small part of it. She's also written a book, but this story isn't included in that narrative. This is really her story to tell but since most of you will probably never meet her and the message is important, I hope to do it justice. Sorry in advance if I don't get all the details correct but hopefully you'll understand the purpose and be able to utilize the wisdom she shared.


E'rma spent most of her childhood in and out of foster care.  When she was a small child, her biological family was transient but her father sometimes held various jobs as a migrant worker, so the family didn't spend any significant amount of time in any one location. She was abused and neglected when she was with her biological family and sometimes in foster homes too.


Her physical appearance left much to be desired. She was small and dirty, wearing the one small dress she owned, which she took off and washed off once a week. Her hair was a long, tangled mess because she didn't have a loving mom to wash it and carefully brush out the tangles for her. She learned from a very early age to keep quiet and still or risk getting verbally or physically abused. Because of her appearance, survival personality and lack of time to get to know anyone, she didn't have many friends over the years and was usually alone.


When she was around eight years old, a group came around to her family's camp and asked if any of the children wanted to go to Sunday School. She jumped at the chance to do anything that got her out of her abusive home. Her only experience with God up to that point was a summer that she spent with her Native American grandfather when she was six. (Read E'rma's book The Treewalker's Gift for more on that period of her life)


Every Sunday morning that she could, she got on the bus that picked up the kids and drove them to church. While at church, most of the people just ignored her and left her alone, but that was good enough for her because she was hearing about a God that loved her and cared about her, which was more than she had ever had before. She continued to try to attend church wherever she moved and she always did her best to learn the verses and take in the stories.


At some point during the next few years, she was attending yet another church in yet another town, still the dirty, mousey transient girl. Many churches in those days gave out awards for attendance, verse memorization, etc. It just so happened that she had been at that particular church long enough to earn awards. One Sunday morning, the pastor announced that he would call the award-winning children up to the platform one by one. They were to bring their families up with them to be presented with their awards. She barely had time to contemplate the fact that she was entirely alone when the pastor called her name first.


She walked slowly down the aisle by herself, eyes to the ground, until she reached the front. One by one, the other children's names were called and they came to the front, surrounded by parents, grandparents and siblings until the front of the church was filled. She stood there, alone, unmoving, wanting nothing more than to sink into the ground. Then, from amidst the congregation, an older lady rose up and quietly walked down the aisle and stood by E'rma's side. The lady didn't say anything at all. She just stood there. She didn't say a word, then or later. E'rma still has no idea who she was.


At the conference, E'rma gave me two books and two bracelets. The bracelets say "I will stand by you and your dreams". How powerful. Sometimes we're so consumed thinking about what we should be doing to help others that we entirely miss the opportunity just to stand with them.


To this day, that event was the single most impacting event in E'rma's life. The fact that someone would choose to stand by her, regardless of her imperfections, was able to fill a void in her heart and give her courage for the future.


Who do you need to stand by?